Well,

Blah.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Transformers...

("More than meets the eye...")

My blog, much like my body, is in a constant state of transformation. I've been wanting a 3-column layout for a while now, and I was lucky enough to find one in the same template I was already using.

The ADD part of me kind of likes the fact that there's a whole lot going on with the 3-column look.

The OCD part of me is going crazy trying to make sense of the mess.

What do you think?

To err is human...

I had a crazy/lazy weekend and I did not do W4D3.

As is usual on Sunday nights, I could not fall asleep for anything and have barely made it through this workday.

I have made the executive decision that c25k is just going to have to wait one more night.

And I'm perfectly okay with that.

Picture Perfect...

We got the chance to go to a Reds game yesterday, which was doubly fortuitious because of (1) the amazing weather, and (2) the fleece blanket giveaway. Not that you need a fleece blanket on an 85-90 degree day with nary a cloud in the sky, but it's one of the better giveaways they do.

(ooh, "fortuitous" and "nary" in the same paragraph...I must be feeling fancy today.)

Anyhoo, here's The BFF/BF enjoying the sunshine:

Here's MFN, my favorite part about working where I do:

The muddy brown waters of the Ohio, one of our many colorful bridges, and the Commonwealth of Kentucky on the other side:

The Reds' tribute to the history of Cincinnati and the Ohio river, a Steamboat-shaped building and Steamer Stacks. If you look closely, you can see that the spires on top of the stacks are actually baseball bats. And those stacks also shoot fireworks when a Reds player hits a homerun, or we win a game.

A blurry picture (sorry) of the companies that my Step-Mom and Dad work for. You'll see these two paired up a lot in Cincinnati, because they're both awesome. :-)

The Mighty Redlegs lost this game at a whopping 10-2. I expected as much, since we were in the company of The BFF, who's been to one winning Reds game in her whole life. Despite this fact, she loves the game, and I love going to the games, so you could probably blame the Reds' constant suckiness on us, if you wish. Eh, whatever.

All in all, it was a great day for a ballgame. Despite the 40spf sunblock I slathered on, I still got a mean sunburn on my forehead, nose and chin, but it was worth it. Fun times!

Today? Not so fun. Grocery shopping, cleaning, and W4D3 of C25k. Although, the Reds are playing another game today. Maybe all that other stuff can wait...

"So hold on tight, we'll muddle through, one day at a time..."

("One Day at a Time" Theme Song)

249.2

Slowly but surely...we're getting there, and I'm okay with that. I was hoping to be in the 248's, but I'm pretty darn close. I'm under 250, which means more than a 10 pound loss since I started this whole darn journey. (8.8 pounds since starting the 20/20 challenge, which averages out to 1.76 pounds per challenge week!)

All in all, I'm happy. I've actually accomplished something, allbeit a small feat. I've fought for these 10 pounds. I have sweated. I have wanted to cry at times. But I did it. The frustrating part comes when I know how hard this was, and then know I've got to do the same thing five more times to get to my goal. And then five more times after that to be at a "healthy" weight.

But, as I've said before, I can't think of it that way. Every time I do, I get frustrated. So, no. I don't have to lose 10 pounds five more times. I have to lose 10 pounds one more time, by May 23rd. That's it. Just one more time. I can do that. I'm already on my way.

Only 9.2 more pounds to go until I hit my goal.

Totally do-able. Totally.

This is it, this is it.
This is life, the one you get,
So go and have a ball.

This is it, this is it.
Straight ahead, and rest assured,
You can't be sure at all.

So while you're here, enjoy the view,
Keep on doing what you do,
So hold on tight, we'll muddle through,
One day at a time, one day at a time.

I passed the test...

...with flying colors! (Kudos to anyone who can tell me how that phrase originated, btw, 'cuz I have no idea.)

Week 4 Day 2, Complete! Although, I have to confess that my mantra turned from Jillian Michaels' "Finish Strong!" to "You're not gonna die! You're not gonna die! I promise, you're not gonna die!"

Hey, what ever gets you through it, right?!

Right.

(Oh, and btw, a new PR for my 5k time - 54:25, so rock on with that!)

The real test...

Tonight is c25k Week 4 Day 2.

It always seems as though the first day of a new c25k week is the easiest. I'm thinking that's because I've had at least two days of rest since the last workout - I usually start my c25k weeks on Tuesday, and do Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.

The Thursday and Saturday workouts always seem infinitely harder than the Tuesday one, but by then, I've also completed one and know that I can do it, so there is a little bit more motivation there. I don't know...it's a trade-off. I really wish The Biggest Loser would switch to Thursday nights - that would help me so much!

We'll see how it goes tonight - Week 4, Day 2, Last Chance Workout before my Friday weigh-in. I totally need to kick butt to get away from 250, and to get on track to lose the next 10 by May 23rd.

Tomorrow, we shall see just how much further I have to go.

That is, if my treadmill doesn't just up and swallow me tonight in a Week 4 fury.

"Throw me a rope to grab on to, help me to prove that I'm strong..."

("The Music and The Mirror" from A Chorus Line.)

MFN, The BFF and Mrs. B. just bought tickets to see A Chorus Line! Woot!

Another one I can cross off my list!

What's even better? Because I'm a Broadway Across America member, we got discounted tickets - Loge seats for the price of Upper Balcony seats! (Woot again!)

So maybe my second-speeding-ticket-in-two-weeks-day won't turn out to be a total loss, after all! (*frantically searching for some wood to knock on...)

"And now it's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea..."

(Please tell me somebody who reads this knows where that came from!)

Good Idea: Going to see Avenue Q.
Bad Idea: Going to see Avenue Q with a nineteen-year-old and her mother.

Good Idea: Going more than five years without a speeding ticket.
Bad Idea: Going more than five years without a speeding ticket and then getting TWO in less than two weeks.

Good Idea: Having a co-worker notice that you've lost weight, and comment that it looks like you've lost more than what you have.
Bad Idea: Drowning your speeding ticket sorrows in whatever comes across your path and undoing a 10 pound weight loss. (I haven't done this...yet.)

"..these are a few of my favorite things..."

("My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music).

Tonight, I'm going to see Avenue Q. I'm going with The BFF, her mom, and her "little" sister to celebrate said sister's 19th birthday. (You probably don't read this, but "Happy Birthday, Puddy!")

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to go to the theater...I'm a huge music/musicals buff, and I have been lucky enough to see several in my lifetime. I was in choir from 6th grade through high school, and was in my high school show choir. (If you don't know what that is, it's a mixed choir that performs a 20-minute program of songs and dance. It's very athletic. And challenging. And uber fun.) And, a bonus to that was that they took us to the theater when ever they could.

I'm also lucky enough to have a BFF who loves musicals just as much as I do. Probably half the shows I've seen, have been with her. Thanks, Sammy Sue!

You know how people make those 101 in 1001 lists? I'm pretty sure I'm not patient enough to come up with 101 things I want to accomplish, but I can (and will) rattle off a long list of musicals I am determined to see before I die.

First, what I have been fortunate enough to see:

• Avenue Q (as of tonight)
• Chicago (a long time ago, before the movie, and when BeBe Neuwirth played Velma Kelly. Awesome!)
• Grease (a college performance)
• Jesus Christ Superstar (I took my mommy on a girl date. Sebastian Bach was a very screamy Christ.)
• Les Miserables (amazing!)
• The Lion King (I took The Hubs to see his first musical. He liked it, but I didn't realize that he had never even seen the Disney version of The Lion King...who hasn't seen that?!?!)
• Miss Saigon
• The Most Happy Fella (another college performance)
• My Fair Lady (with The BFF and Puddy)
• Oklahoma (one of my favorites!)
• Show Boat
• South Pacific (with Robert Goulet...oooh! LOL)
• Ragtime

Now, the shows that I should have seen, but somehow got thwarted. It is because of these experiences that I now refuse to buy tickets to a show more than a month in advance:

• Phantom of the Opera - I had 9th row, center tickets, and it just so happened to coincide with the year's biggest snowstorm. It took me over 3 hours to get home that night, and they did not cancel the show.
• Wicked - The BFF and I had tickets, and then I ended up having to have my gallbladder removed two days before the show.

And, the wish list:

• Fiddler on the Roof* - I have never seen it, or the movie, and I'm absolutely dying to!
• 42nd Street*
• Aida
• Annie
• Annie Get Your Gun
• Anything Goes
• Beauty and the Beast*
• Cabaret
• Camelot
• Carousel
• A Chorus Line
• Grey Gardens - sidenote: I have got to find a way to see the Drew Barrymore version that's coming out on HBO!
• Guys and Dolls*
• Hello, Dolly!
• How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
• Into The Woods
• The King and I
• Kiss Me, Kate
• Legally Blonde*
• Mama Mia*
• Mary Poppins
• Les Miserables (again)
• Movin' Out
• The Music Man*
• Oklahoma (again)
• Phantom of the Opera* (Damn you, Mother Nature!)
• Rent
• Seussical the Musical
• Spamalot*
• Sweeney Todd
• West Side Story*
• Wicked* (Damn you, gallbladder!)
• Xanadu

(*shows I have promised myself I will buy tickets to next time they are available)

Anyway, tonight is sure to be a difficult night with the eating/exercising. We're eating at Cadillac Ranch downtown, and they don't have a full menu OR nutritional information on their website. So freaking annoying!!! And, of course, the show starts at 8pm, so who knows what time I'm getting home. There will definitely not be any 5k's tonight, but that's perfectly fine with me. I get to go hang out with some raunchy puppets instead!

Dear Lyndsey,

It's your turn!

Week 4, Day 1: COMPLETE!!!

(p.s. It's rough, but if I can do it, you can do it.)

New 5k PR: 55:38. I'm getting closer and closer...45:00 here I come!

Woot!

Strategy...

I'm tweaking my approach.

The BFF and I had this whole discussion yesterday about c25k, and how it seems impossible to make the jump from week 3 to week 4. And don't even get us started on week 5...

I've said all along that I do not expect to be able to run this whole 5k. My goals are (1) to finish, and (2) to finish in 45 minutes. I am following the Couch to 5k program, but I know that there will come a week when I will just not be able to do it. That being said, it almost makes you not want to do it at all.

Almost.

Anyway, here's the plan. I'm starting Week 4 this week:

3 minute run
1.5 minute walk
5 minute run
2.5 minute walk
3 minute run
1.5 minute walk
5 minute run
2.5 minute walk

It seems impossible, but (of course!) I'm going to try my hardest. I'm just not going to stress out about needing to get it down in 3 workouts. If I can't do week 4, I'm going to stay on week 4, no matter how long it takes. Then, and only then, I will move on to week 5. If I only make it to week 5 by the time of my 5k, then that's as far as I made it. I'm going to do the best I can at the 5k, and then use that as the jumping off point for my next 5k goals.

That's right. I said next 5k. There are two more 5k's in the works for me: the Cincinnati Zoo Cheetah Run on September 6th (also the same day as the WEBN Fireworks) and the Reggae Run on October 3rd.

Now part of me is wondering if this is me biting off more than I can chew - I mean, I haven't even ran my first 5k yet. What if I hate it?! But then, another part of me is really excited about it, because it gives me a reason to continue c25k after June 7th. And it gives me something to strive towards. I will have the first one under my belt, so I can work towards beating my time.

In the end, I feel much better about my decision to listen to my body and take c25k as I can. And I'm really excited about the possibility of saying that I ran three 5k's this year. This is exactly what I was talking about when I said I wanted to look back on this year and revel in my accomplishments, instead of wallow in my 'shoulda coulda woulda's'. (Read this post).

It blows my mind to think of the changes I'm making, the changes that I've already made, and the changes that are still yet to come.

I want to end this year with only one question in my mind...

Why didn't I do this sooner?!

"Come Monday, it'll be all right..."

("Come Monday" by Jimmy Buffett - I finally had no choice but to repeat an artist!)

Quick little ditty today, kiddos. I have to leave in about 1/2 an hour to go pick up The BFF for a girls' day of window shopping at the Outlets! Woot! About the only thing I'm going to buy is lunch, but still, it's better than being at work on a rainy Monday.

The big news? I finally hit -10 pounds this weekend! I'm super stoked! And I told The Hubs that if I lose another 10 by May 23rd (a family wedding) I'm going to buy myself a new dress. (perhapse this little beauty from Torrid. I tried it on this weekend and it's beautiful! I would wear a wrap or something, of course!)

But, anyway...I hit my -10! And to celebrate, we went to Rockbottom, which I blogged about before on my Valentines day post. I didn't eat all day, in preparation for their Chicken Fried Chicken. It was so, totally, worth it.

After we ate, we walked around downtown a little bit, and decided to grab some seats on Fountain Square. The Hubs' powers of observation were much more potent than mine, for once, and he drew my attention to the 3 film cameras that were mere feet away from us, and pointing in all directions. Then we saw a ton of people with walkie talkies, shooing people away from one certain set of chairs, and making people sign release forms and such.

The Hubs said, "Maybe they're filming Taking The Stage", and sure enough, about five minutes later, Mia and Aaron walk over and sit at the tables that were reserved for them.

It was pretty neat to watch, even though we couldn't hear anything they were saying, and I'm pretty sure neither of us were on camera. I'll watch to see, anyway. (Besides, I love any show that showcases my city...)

Okay, so that was Saturday. Sunday I went to a bridal shower for my soon-to-be step-cousin-in-law. It was pretty fun, but standard bridal shower stuff. I made her "bow-quet" since she made mine at my family bridal shower last year. It turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself.

And today, it's a lovely, rainy vacation day from work. I don't really care about the rain. I'm just glad to have a day off.

And I plan to take full advantage of it!

I was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close...

250.2

Can you believe it?! I can't.

That makes -7.8 for the 20/20 Challenge, and -9.8 total. I'm stoked!

And that is all.

Amazed...and a little freaked out.

Six minutes and forty-eight seconds.

The length of my favorite song? Nope.

The time it takes to drive to work? I wish!

The longest I have ever continuously ran? Bingo!

I started off the night with c25k W3D2, and I was struggling. That burning pain started to come back during my first 3 minute run, and for a while there, I didn't know if I would make it through. I kept going, though and finished the 23 minutes I was supposed to. By now, y'all should know how I do: I keep going until I hit 5k, no matter how long it takes. My fastest time was 57:15.

Until tonight.

After my 23 minutes, I walked till I hit 30. Then I ran for 1.5 every five minutes. Then Jillian Michaels (damn her/bless her) took over my brain at the 50 minute mark, and in order to "Finish Strong!" I decided I would run as long as I could. Wouldn't you know it...I channeled my inner Forrest Gump and just ran, and ran, and ran.

And I had a runner's epiphany. Can you believe it? I was running too slowly. I now know what it means to "find your stride", because at 3.8 miles per hour my calves weren't burning, my ankles didn't hurt, my hips weren't aching, or anything. I fell into a great breathing pattern, and it just all seemed to work. A well-oiled machine is what I was, for almost seven glorious minutes. I finished my 5k in 56:48.

Now, I know, to a lot of people out there, running 7 minutes is like a walk in the park. But to me? It's a marathon. It's a triathlon. It's the freaking Iditarod, dude.

And I did it. It's been almost a half hour since I got off the treadmill, and I still haven't come down.

For once, I feel accomplished. For once, I feel proud.

"Ready, ready, ready, ready...ready to run"

("Ready to Run" by The Dixie Chicks).

So there's not much going on, but I figured I should still check in and update for you...

Last weekend was pretty boring/normal. The Hubs finally got a new phone (a Voyager) so now he can actually hear it when it rings. And, he joined the rest of the Western world and got text messaging. It's been really nice, so far.

Saturday was a family Easter get-together. My cousins brought their brand new baby girl, Katie, for us to meet. I don't think she ever touched her car seat the whole time she was there. I was kind of surprised, instead of giving me intense baby fever, it kind of had the opposite effect of tiding me over for a while. Not that she was a bad baby, or anything. She was perfect. But I think I just needed a little baby time to get it out of my system for a bit. The Hubs and I know that we aren't in a position to go there any time soon - maybe in a couple of years - but it's really nice to practice for a minute. And then give her back.

Saturday evening was spent at Wally World buying camping supplies. It was exciting because we had nothing, so we got to pick out everything, but it was also excruciating because The Hubs is incapable of making decisions. After over two hours in the store, we actually succeeded in purchasing a tent, an air mattress, an air pump, a lantern, bug spray, itch relief, citronella candles, and a portable spice set for cooking.

We came home and had an incredibly romantic evening consisting of Taco Bell and "Locked Up Corcoran: Extended Stay" on msNBC. I have no idea why, but for some reason, I have become fascinated with prison documentaries. It's just so interesting to me, the lives they lead, and how they adjust to the environment. Go ahead. Call me 'weirdo'. I give you permission.

Sunday was The Hubs' "catch up" day. He was still frantically working on his mom's computer, he had homework to do, and he had a math test to study for. I left him alone for most of the day and spent my time cleaning, doing some laundry, and watching "Rock Star Wives: The E! True Hollywood Story". (Hey, it may be trashy, but at least it wasn't (totally) about prison. LOL)

I made him stop around 2 pm, and we set off on the adventure that is 'tent set-up'. We wanted to set it up to see how big it actually was - it's hard to visualize in the store, even after The Hubs uses my shoes to mark it out on the linoleum - and to see if we liked it. To my surprise, we set it up fairly quickly and with minimal bickering! I was quite impressed, with us and the tent.

(This is missing the rain fly, and you can't see the awning that comes out over the little "patio" area. But you get the picture).

After that, I made dinner and dove head-first into the first book of the Twilight series. It took me about 10 chapters to get into it, but I finally did. I finished it a couple of days ago, and I have to admit I was a little disappointed. Maybe it's just because I had heard sooooo much about how amazing it was. I don't know. It was good. I'll give it that. But (and this is hard to explain) I didn't feel like it ended, I just felt like it stopped. Like there were supposed to be more chapters, but she just didn't write them.

Maybe I'm picky. Maybe I had too-high expectations. Who knows. I'm planning on reading the second book (which one is it? New Moon?) but I'm not in any hurry at this point.

In DietLand:
All's quiet on the diet front. I made myself a goal that I would get to the -10 mark by this weigh in. I'm not sure if that's going to happen since I had a ridiculously crappy day yesterday, but I'm still going to try.

My other goal was to do c25k Week 3 four times this week since I only did it twice last week and I'm repeating it. I've done it once, and I'll do it tonight. I'll fit it in somewhere in the next couple of days. Somewhere.

The proverbial "they" finally cashed my registration check for the 5k on June 7th. It's officially official now. I've got to get "ready, ready, ready, ready..."

"Ready to run".

(p.s. I tried the new blogging from my email thing, and now my OCD is in overdrive because I can't get the font to the right size! It's going to drive me batty! No more email blogging for me...)

Words of wisdom

I was an English major. Then I became a Communication major. To say that words are my life would be an understatement. I talk - a lot. I read - a lot. I use song lyrics as blog titles, for Pete's sake!

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mrs. B...what's the point?)

I have an affinity for elloquent speakers. JFK? Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt? Barack Obama? They move me. So now, I'm channeling my love for wisdom and elloquence by posting some of my favorite motivational and weight-loss quotes. I'm posting them here, and I will also post them on the side of the blog, so that they will be there to motivate for all eternity. (What? You think that's stretching it a bit?)

I found some of these through one of my awesome BHM ladies, and others, I found myself.

I hope you find some inspiration from them, as I have. ("Finish strong" is my mantra during the last few minutes of my workouts!)

Jillian Michaels:

• "Finish strong!"
• "Fitness to me isn't about a crunch or a push up - it's about taking your power back."
• "Unless you puke, faint or die - KEEP GOING!"

Unknown Author (if you know who said these, let me know):

• "Nothing worth having comes easily."
• "Never exchange the thing you want most for the thing you want in the moment" -BHM Misha's WW Leader, Phil. Thanks, Misha!
• "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." - Weight Watchers - thanks Lyndsey!

Well known personalities:

• "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt
• "Never, never, never quit." - Winston Churchill
• "We can do anything we want to, if we stick to it long enough." - Helen Keller
• "The future depends on what we do in the present." - Mahatma Ghandi

People I've never heard of, but I liked what they had to say:

• "Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality." - Ralph Marston
• "One way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life." - Cyril Connolly
• "You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be." - David Viscott
• "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." - Jim Ryun

And a Japanese Proverb thrown in:

• "Fall seven times, stand up eight."

Do you have any great motivational quotes that you'd like to share with the rest of the class?

"I ain't got much to lose, cuz I've seen better days..."

("I've Seen Better Days" by Sublime).

251.4

Down a measley 0.2 pounds, but a loss is a loss. Especially when I was expecting a gain.

This week, my food intake has been HORRIBLE. I went out for lunch every single day. I ate out for dinner twice. Yesterday, The Hubs surprised me by coming to work and taking me out to lunch. We had B-dubs (a weakness of mine) and I didn't even try to make good choices. And then I felt bad, because Thursdays are Last Chance days before my Friday 20/20 weigh-in, so I went home and had one piece of whole wheat bread with a little peanut butter for dinner.

I'm pretty sure that's not how this whole diet thing is supposed to go.

Last night was W3D2 for c25k. It's the very first time in this whole adventure that I've had to tweak the workout. I did the 1.5m run/walk, and then did the 3m run. After I completed it, both of my legs started cramping up from the knee to the ankle. Not just my calves, either. The whole damn leg - 360 degrees of burning pain. I had to stop half way through my 3m walk and sit down to wait for the cramping to stop. Once it did, I got back on, kept on schedule, finished the rest of my 3m walk and did the whole cycle over again. Once I made it to 25 minutes, you can bet I was off of that damn treadmill.

And then I felt bad. Crappy. Disappointed. Annoyed.

I promised myself that I would finish 5k every time I get on the treadmill, and at that point, I had barely gone over a mile. I had no choice but to get back on. I took it a little slower than I normally do, since my legs were still letting me know that they weren't at all happy, and would much rather be chilling on the comfy couch watching bad tv. I finished 5k in about 67 minutes. 10 minutes over my fastest 5k time, but I knew I had to go slower or I wouldn't finish at all. Once I completed the 5k, I hopped off, thinking I should now feel like I accomplished something.

But I didn't.

I still felt like I hadn't done anything. I stopped during my c25k, I stopped after my c25k, and it took me over an hour to finish 5k. I felt like a total failure, even though I logically know that an hour on the treadmill is good no matter what.

So I hopped back on the treadmill for the fourth time last night. Ugh. In the end, I ended up spending a cumulative two hours on the damn thing. (Partially to try to make myself feel accomplished, and partially to see what would happen when my treadmill timer hit 99:99). The counter says I burned off over 800 calories, and I went 5.6 miles, but I just can't shake the doom and gloom.

It's disheartening. To have 2 weeks of above average weight loss, and then to lose 0.2 pounds. And to know that you've got no one to blame but yourself. And to kick your own ass at cardio (I've done over 200 minutes of cardio so far this week) but for it to all be for nothing, since you put nothing but junk in your body all week. And to have something proven to you that you already knew was true, but just didn't want to accept: you can't half-ass this stuff.

I can't eat what ever I want, and then hope that killing myself on the treadmill will fix it. It's almost the same mentality as being Bulimic - to eat everything in sight, and then "fix" it by throwing up? I was doing the same thing this week. Of course, my "purge" was through the use of a treadmill, but I don't think it's any different. And that scares me a little.

I've got to realize and accept that there has to be a balance. I have to eat well and work out. I can't just do one or the other.

My goal for next week is to get to -10 pounds. I'm only 1.4 pounds away, and I'm making it a priority to do it the right way this time.

Have a great weekend and a Happy Easter, all.

c25kiss my bootie!!!

I almost died DID IT!

Week 3, Day 1: Complete! You thought you had me there for a second, didn't you, evil c25k? You thought you could crush my dreams, that this would surely be the end of me, right? Certainly I would give up, or maybe even drop dead...

But I didn't. I didn't and I won't. Just go ahead, give me another 3 minutes to run. I dare you.

Not that it was easy, or anything. I was feeling pain in places I didn't know could hurt. I now understand why people hate running - they start out pushing themselves too hard, and feel the way I felt, and then say "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell naw". I completely understand that. At about 2 minutes into my first 3 minute run, I was thinking the exact same thing.

And then I kept going. That's the trick. And to do it again, even though you know what it's going to feel like now that you've done it once. To know that you're going to feel pain, but to do it anyway.

I don't think I've ever done that in my life until today.

Thank you, evil c25k. I owe you one three.

Should I be concerned...?

Today, my dear friends, will be W3D1 of Couch to 5k. If you aren't familiar with it, that means I have to do a:

1.5 minute run
1.5 minute walk
3.0 minute run
3.0 minute walk
1.5 minute run
1.5 minute walk
3.0 minute run
3.0 minute walk

Now, last week I barely (and I mean barely) made it through my 1.5 minute runs, and those were followed by two whole minutes of walking. Even when I push myself to run as long as I can, I've only ever made it to two minutes.

Should I be concerned about the fact that they want me to run a full 3 minutes today?! Twice?! Well, I certainly am concerned, and I'll certainly be AMAZED if I do it. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try. How can I ever expect to run through a full 5k if I can't run for 3 minutes?

As good as c25k is, I never started this program expecting to be able to go from 258 pounds and barely power-walking to running a full 5k in 9 weeks. I'm pretty sure I'm going to walk some of the distance. My real goals are to (1) finish the damn thing, and (2) finish in 45 minutes or less.

Well, I know I can finish 5k. I've done that every time I get on the treadmill lately. It's that darn 45 minutes that I'm working on. And running tonight for 3 minutes at a time is going to get me there.

Eventually.

"It's just another manic Monday..."

("Manic Monday" by The Bangles).

Craziness, I tell you. Ugh.

Let's start with the weekend:
Friday night, The Hubs and I had the best pizza in Cincinnati for dinner. I was good with my calories, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Then we drove up to his parents' house so that he could fix some computer problems for them. Other than that, it was a pretty boring night.

Saturday (aka My Arch Nemesis) we had to get up at the crack of dawn to head down and help my Aunt move. Since we left so early, we grabbed McDonald's for breakfast on the way down. So. Not. Good. I basically started my day with 500 calories. Bah. Then, my Aunt bought us pizza for lunch. LaRosa's twice in two days. While that may be heaven for the taste buds, it's pretty much hell on a diet. I stuck to thin crust, and plain cheese, so I think I didn't sabotage myself too badly with lunch.

And then, there were doughnuts. Damn you, Dunkin'! Doughnuts are like my favorite thing. And I had two. I just couldn't help myself. (Oh well...) The one thing that annoys me about the doughnuts, though? Dunkin' Donuts puts "0g Trans Fats!!!" really big on the boxes, like that makes them healthy. Whatever, dude.

And then, there was the cook-out with Tonja & Jason & The BFF/BF. Fun times! Considering the amount of food we had, and the types of food we had, it could have been much worse than it was. Almost everything we had was the healthier version of the real thing. Fat Free Cool Whip, Baked Lays, 0 Calorie butter for the corn, etc. But I still had way more calories than I was supposed to. I felt horrible.

If I had to guess, I'd say I was about 500-700 calories over my allotment on Saturday. It's not the end of the world, but it's not good either. The hard part is knowing that there are just going to be days like that, where I can't prepare, and I can't control everything. I really can't stand not being in control of it, but I need to get used to it because I know it's going to happen again at some point. How do you deal with that?

Anyway, Sunday The Hubs headed back up to his parents' house to try to figure out more of their computer issues, so I had the whole day to myself. I did c25k W2/D3 and 5k on the treadmill, then ate lunch/dinner, and did it again. I was really trying to make up for Saturday, even though I know I can't do it all in one day. In the end, it was over 2 hours on the treadmill, more than 10k, and over 800 calories burned. Not too shabby, but I just can't seem to not feel funky about Saturday. Hopefully soon I'll get back into the swing of things and quit being so OCD about the whole thing.

So, let's talk about last week's goals, shall we?

I did not plan the in-law dinner or either of my doctors' appointments. I'm horrible with that kind of stuff.

I took my Metformin 6/7 days. Not too shabby! And I'm even up to two pills a day now, without the gastrointestinal issues. Now I just need to remember to take the darn stuff!

I did not test my blood sugar at all last week. I'm just not too concerned about it.

I stayed under 2,000 calories 6/7 days. Saturday it was just not meant to be.

I only conquered the Dreaded Steps of Doom one day last week. No excuses.

I accomplished all 3 c25k workouts, and even did one extra.

I did almost double the amount of cardio in my goals: 345/180. Now, that's pretty darn rockstar if you ask me.

So as you saw before, I weighed in at 251.6 - 3.1 pounds down last week. This week, I'm pretty darn sure I won't get that number, but that's okay. It would have been awesome to get under 250 by this weekend, but I'm definitely not going to be heartbroken if I don't. I know that I will get there in the next couple of weeks, and that's awesome enough. This week, I'm just concentrating on not gaining, and losing what ever I can.

I've also found that listening to TBL theme song (Proud by Heather Small) really gets me pumped up to go kick some treadmill butt. I have decided that I really need to join the rest of humanity and buy an iPod. I had a Sony mp3 player a few years ago, but it bit the dust. That's been almost a year and a half ago. Yeah, I think it's time I finally get one. I think it would be really inspirational and motivating to listen to some good booty-shaking music while I'm c25k-ing.

In other news:
This week at work is going to suck. Our receptionist is on vacation, so I have to cover 3 half days at the front desk. This pretty much means I can't get any of my work done while I'm up there, so I'm not really looking forward to it. Bah.

We got our tax refund, thank you jeebus. Let the iPod buying commence.

I found out Saturday that my oldest little brother (14) is going to Washington, DC for his 8th grade trip this week. Not only that, but he gets to place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. How cool is that?! Apparently, he won an essay contest of some sort, and now he gets the honor of placing the wreath during the ceremony. That's some pretty awesome stuff. Is it wrong to be jealous of a 14 year old?

All right, children. Guess that's it. Have a lovely week!

"Running down a dream, that never would come to me..."

("Running Down a Dream" by Tom Petty).

Short post today, since I'm busy. I'll post more later, I promise.

251.6

Can you believe it?! Another 3.1 pounds this week...I'm amazed.

I kept my calories under control, and didn't let the peppermint patties or idiots at work sabotage me, amazingly enough. I also worked out like a mad woman...1.5 hours on the treadmill last night. The calorie counter said 636 calories, although I'm not sure exactly how accurate that is.

I also brought my 5k time down a bit - from 59:40 to 57:15. It's getting better! C25k W2/D2 was just as hard last night, but I powered through. I even kept the jogging 90/walking 120 up for an additional 10 minutes before I "slowed down" to a walk at 3.3 for the rest of the time.

Okay, I guess those are the important bits. More later, loves!

A moment of weakness...

Damn you, peppermint patties! I was doing so well!

But, being a Cincinnatian, and having Skyline for lunch, it's tradition - second nature, even - to finish off with a York peppermint patty (one for 15 cents, two for 25, so you always go for 2...) or two.

I didn't even think about what I was doing. It was automatic. I bought my two patties, and scarfed them down without even thinking about the consequences of my actions.

That scares me. Especially since I've been so vigilant lately about what I've been eating.

Granted, an extra 140 calories isn't the end of the world, but it put me up to 900 calories for today, and it's only 1:15! And my weigh-in is tomorrow, and I just made it 140 calories harder for me to get to the 5 pound mark. I'm just disappointed, that's all.

Oh well. Move on, work it off. That's the plan.

Mid-week Update

Okay, so it's Wednesday - half way through the work week! (Thank you Jeebus!)

So, Zumba - was totally HARD! I wasn't expecting that! Don't get me wrong, it was fun and all, but I definitely didn't forget I was working out the whole time. I think there were several things that made it so hard:

1. The Instructor - She was nice, but I think some of the moves were a wee bit advanced for beginners. When you advertise something as easy, and not needing any dance training, you shouldn't be surprised when you get people who can't dance. Not me, mind you. I can dance. (Sarcasm, here, folks - in case you missed it.) Actually, I've got a pretty good sense of rhythm, and I can groove here and there, but there were a couple of pretty advanced sequences that were hard to pick up quickly.

2. The Floor - We were in a carpeted upstairs office space, which made it pretty difficult to do the quick fancy footwork we were supposed to be doing. It would have been MUCH easier on a smooth surface, but unless we wanted to Zumba in a glass enclosed atrium for four stories of employees to see, we were stuck with the office space.

3. The Heat - As I mentioned, our Zumba location was less than ideal. The floors were carpeted, and it was HOT up there. I think the heat just zapped a lot of my energy away. It seemed like everyone was having a hard time dealing with it.

All in all, Zumba was fun, and I'm sure it was a good workout. I was surprised that I found it harder to do than an hour on the treadmill, though. Probably because it works out more body parts, and the combo of everything I mentioned above. We had a really good turnout - probably about 10 people - and I think everyone enjoyed it.


Since Monday was the first day of The Hubs being gone, I had a Happy Meal for dinner. It was quick and easy, and under 600 calories, which is nice. Yes, I know it wasn't healthy, and I didn't have any fruits or veggies, but I still kept my calories under control.

Yesterday, I took a "Mental Health" Day from work. I woke up to my alarm, right in the middle of a freaky dream where a plane was about to crash into the building I was in, but suddenly swerved, and crashed into a swimming pool. There were lots of floating dead bodies. Not the way I wanted to wake up. But I had a bunch of stuff I needed to accomplish, and I've got vacation/personal days, so I decided to use one. I ended up going back to sleep after emailing my boss, and I slept until 12:15. Apparently, I needed it.

I did a bunch of errands, and cleaned around the house all day. Oh, and there just might have been some Maury Povitch. Maybe.

I also did C25k Week 2/Day 1. Wow...I was not prepared for how much harder it was going to be. I think I got cocky. I was thinking, okay, it's an extra 30 seconds of running? That's nothing! AND you get an extra 30 seconds of walking after! Easy peasy! Yeah...no. Apparently, my running limit is at about 1:10. Those extra 20 seconds were killer. I did it though.

And then after my 25 minutes of C25k were over, I kept up a fast-paced walk until I hit 5k. I've decided that when I get on that treadmill to do the c25k, I'm not getting off until I make it to 5k, no matter how long it takes, or whether I run or walk. Hopefully, I'll start seeing my time go down. It took me 59:40 to finish last night. I would really love to get to 45 minutes before the 5k in June. I think I'll get there - 9 weeks is a long time to get better at this whole thing!

The scale (yes, I know I shouldn't be weighing myself so much, but it's habit) says I've lost almost two pounds since my Friday weigh in, so I'm hoping I can keep up that momentum and show a good number in 2 days. I weighed myself (voluntarily, no less) on the scale in my boss' office today, and for the first time, it showed a loss - it was showing 253.6, even with all my clothes on! So rock on with that.

Two more days until 20/20 Weigh-in #2. I'm going to rock out my calorie counting (only getting to 900 yesterday was a BIG mistake! I was starving today!!!), and kick butt on the workouts. C25k W2/D2 will be my "Last Chance Workout" before the weigh-in, so I'm going to work extra hard tomorrow night. And, technically, I'm supposed to have tonight off from c25k, but I'm planning on hopping on the treadmill for at least 1/2 hour, and moving my bootie. It can't hurt, right?

Right.