"It starts with one thing, I don't know why..."

*editor's note: if you're looking for the before pictures, they aren't here. Seeing them staring at me was too depressing, so they've gone the way of all bad pictures. You can still enjoy the following post, though... :-)*

Allrighty-roo. Here we go! Let's start with the dirty facts, shall we?

Date: Monday, January 5, 2009
Weight: 257.8 (I'll go with that, even though it's about 3 pounds lighter than I think is true...)
Measurements:
Arm: 18"
Boobs: 51.75"
Belly: 50.5"
Hips: 53.5"
Thigh: 30"

The good news? Even though those numbers are absolutely horrific, they'll only get smaller from here! (That's the plan, anyway...)

And look, because I'm such a good blogger friend, I even gave you before photos. I must really want to lose weight, because under normal circumstances these photos would NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER make their way to the internet for all to peruse. The only reason you get to see them is that I'm finally confident enough that the "After" photos will justify the embarassment.

Here's the plan, kids: I'm going to weigh in every Monday. I'm going to post pictures and measurements on the first Monday of every month. I'm not going to bore you with what I like to call the "Clueless" experience. Did you ever see that movie? I'm not ashamed to tell you all that it was the first movie I ever owned on DVD. LOL. Anyway, at one point, Cher is explaining why she feels so fat..."I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice." I'm assuming you don't care to know the exact proportions of every single thing I eat. I'll let you know if something is working. I'll let you know if I slip up. (Let's hope that doesn't happen.) I'll let you know what's going on in my life - my new hubby, my messy apartment, and my never-ending quest to get those damn ducks in a row.

Here's my philosophy on this whole thing: I've never done this before. Sucessfully, anyway. Now I have no choice. I actually have to *shudder* work at this. That thought depresses me, but being fat depresses me more.

This morning I was driving to work, and my road companions were being especially idiotic. I was much more pissed than I normally am, and I know it was because I'm thinking "This is it. Today I'm officially on a diet, and I'm in a bad mood. I'm going to take it out on all of you." Then I decided that it's probably not the best idea to spend the next year in a rage on complete strangers because I'm finally having to take responsibility for 26 years of inaction. I choose to be in a good mood about this whole thing. From this point forward. (I may need your help remembering that, though!)

I also choose to take this one day at a time. One meal at a time. One hour at a time if I have to. If I think about the fact that if I lost 100 pounds, I would still be considered 'overweight', I would go crazy. My doctor told me that, if you can believe it. In a conversation about how I really need to lose weight to get control of my diabetes and health issues, he said, "You know, even if you could lose 100 pounds, you're still overweight." Talk about being supportive and inspirational! Anyway, my magic number is 2. Not 100. 2 pounds per week. That's all I'm focusing on. I know in my head that it will add up eventually. Every year I look back and say, "Wow...look what you could have done last year, if you had only tried!" Next year, I'm going to say, "Wow! Look what you did!"

You're starting at the beginning with me. That's totally not as exciting as finding me in 6 months and getting gratifying 'after' pictures, I know. But maybe, just maybe, if you stick with me through this whole process, we'll all come out a little bit better in the end.

Here we go, kids!