Monday, June 29, 2009
*Warning* Please expect randomness. It's Monday morning, the weekend was ridiculous, and I don't quite have all of my faculties. The end.
That right there is a 1.2 pound loss for last week, and I'll take it! I only ended up doing t5k's twice, and managed to eat out for lunch every day last week. I half expected to gain that much, so losing it was a pleasant surprise. These 40's are kicking my butt, but I can't exactly complain since it's my fault I haven't been working out as much as I was in the 50's. The whole weight loss thing is pretty simple, really. Eat better, move more. When you don't do those things, you're either stagnant or, worse, growing.
Eat better, move more. Eat better, move more. Eat better, move more. Rinse and repeat.
I only have 5 more days until my second 5k! I'm not sure if The BFF has signed up for it yet, but I've been hounding her to...I hope she does! Before my last 5k (how cool is it that I can start a sentence like that?!?!?) I did t5ks every night except for Friday, and it seemed to work out okay. I think I'll stick with that plan, and we'll see how it goes.
I'm picking up my race packet on Friday and driving the course. Randomly, the residential section goes down the street of one of my friends at work, so she said she's going to make me a little poster to cheer me on. (She said there's NO WAY she's going to be up at 8:30 to do it in person, and with 6 kids, I don't really blame her).
My goals for this 5k are simple: (1) finish faster than my last time of 47:37, (2) get to the 2nd mile marker in under 29 minutes, and (3) keep up a running schedule.
Last time, my 2-mile time was 30:07. My average time for the course was 15:22/mile. My goal is to stay in the 14's for the whole thing. If I finished each mile in 14:59, my final time would be 46:27, shaving a little over a minute off my time. 14:30 would have me finishing in 44:57 - 2.5 minutes less! I know that while I'm here, comfortably sitting on my ass at work, shaving 30 seconds off my time per mile seems super easy...Saturday, it's going to be a completely different story.
As for keeping a running schedule, right now the plan is to run 2.5 minutes, walk 2.5 minutes for as long as I can. When that gets hard, I will run 2 minutes, walk 3. When that gets hard, because I'm sure it will, I want to make sure I'm running at least 1.5 minutes of every 5. I know that I slacked with the running in the 3rd mile last time, so hopefully even if I'm running less in the beginning this time, it will average out to a faster time in the end.
I can't believe I'm less than a week away from running my second 5k. I won't lie...I'm pretty proud.
Goals for this week include:
1. Taking all meds. I did pretty awesome last week! Rock on.
2. T5k M, T, W, Th at at least a 0.5% incline.
3. Watch calories.
4. Get to 246 at next weigh-in.
5. Rock out at my second 5k.
Easy enough, right? Right.
On to other things: my weekend.
Went with MFN and The BFF to Cheeseburger in Paradise. Horrible service, as we have found places with 'ambiance' to be consistant in that area - *ahem* Cadillac Ranch *ahem*. They're also horrible with nutrition information. They don't post any on their website, and don't make it available to you if you inquire. Yeah, there was pretty much no hope. On the plus side, afterwards we went to MFN's house and worked off a gazillion calories playing Rock Band. Well, at least I'm going to pretend I worked off a gazillion calories, as I had to sing the whole time. Hey, there was clapping involved.
The Hubs and I had Mongolian Grill (yes, again) for lunch. I snuck some carrots, broccoli, and sprouts in there, thankyouverymuch. Then we saw a Transformers 2 matinee. The Hubs and I both really enjoyed it, no matter what the critics may say. I'm sure we'll be buying it when it comes out on DVD. Mrs. B. Movie Grade: A-.
I'll spare you the long, dramatic details, but my 11 year old niece is in a Christian Children's Home about 3.5 hours north of where I live. Crammed in a backseat with my two "little" brothers, I rode up to see her with my Step-dad and Mom. The trip up was not fun, and then when we finally got there to visit, we were told that she had been taken with the rest of the kids to a baseball game about an hour away. If we wanted to, they would have brought all the kids back early from their trip, but of course we said no. My mom was really heartbroken because she hasn't spoken to her or seen her in about a month, and we were really looking forward to it. So now, we have to take another long trip up there sometime soon, in the hopes that we'll get to see her. Ugh.
And that brings us back to the present. Another day at work, another day on a diet, another day of life.
Which is totally better than the alternative.
Billy Mays (yes, Billy Mays. He was annoying, but iconic).
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Well, looky here. This little blog made it to 100 posts. Now, I'm not going to go getting all sentimental on you, don't worry. (I probably couldn't take it right now, anyway!) What I am going to do, is this:
In honor of my 100th blog post, here are 100 reasons why I'm doing this. They range from medical reasons, to incredibly selfish reasons, to totally superficial ones. Dont' judge. And you know what? It really wasn't hard at all to come up with 100. I'm sure I could have kept going. And by now, you all should know my OCD tendencies, so it shouldn't surprise you in the least that I organized them into categories. You're welcome. :)
100 Reasons Why Mrs. B. Is Kicking Her Own Ass:
1. To control my diabetes
2. To not have a "high-risk" pregnancy
3. To live a long life
4. To be healthy
5. To not be considered "Morbidly Obese", "Obese", or "Overweight" anymore
6. To not die of Diabetes like my father is
7. To not sweat as much
8. To quit being depressed
9. To fix my back problems
10. To be more flexible
11. To have more energy
12. To have more stamina
13. To be stronger
14. To not die
15. To get pregnant
16. To be a beautiful pregant woman
17. To be a good example for my children
18. To have active children
19. To give them the mom they deserve
20. To keep up with my kids
21. To keep my marriage active
22. To be a good example for my husband
23. To feel as sexy as The Hubs says I am
24. To sit on The Hubs' lap
25. To be picked up and spun by The Hubs
26. To have better sex
27. To fully enjoy my marriage
28. To make my husband proud to have me for a wife
29. To look more professional
30. To buy cuter and less expensive clothes
31. To have cuter and less expensive bathing suit choices
32. To be less self-conscious in a bathing suit
33. To more comfortably wear high heels
34. To fit into the pants I've been too fat for for 8 years
35. To enjoy shopping for clothes
36. To have cuter work out clothes
37. To have cuter work clothes
38. To wear shorts again
39. To wear skirts again
40. To wear sleeveless tops
41. To not have to wear shapewear anymore
42. To be able to throw something on and love it
43. To buy cuter/cheaper lingerie
44. To have more choices
45. To get rid of the tires around my waist
46. To see my belly button again
47. To have smaller thighs
48. To feel pretty
49. To look on the outside like I feel on the inside
50. To see a "1" as the first number of my weight for the first time since high school
51. To be able to paint my toenails easier
52. To be able to take and enjoy baths
53. To ride The Beast and other roller coasters again
54. To sit "indian style" in car seats on long trips
55. To fit more comfortably in airplane seats
56. To more easily bend over in the car to get things off the floor
57. To have more room in bed
58. To fit better in office chairs
59. To un-self-consciously ride a motorcycle with The Hubs
60. To not be hindered or held back by my size anymore
61. To have more opportunities
62. To try new things
63. To actively live my life instead of letting it pass by
64. To be more comfortable
65. To do things that being overweight has kept me from - i.e. repelling, horseback riding, etc.
66. To participate more during office annual meeting adventures
67. To be better at Yoga
68. To run a mile without stopping
69. To run a 5k without stopping
70. To be more active
71. To have people notice
72. To get positive attention
73. To not be the "fat friend"
74. To go places and feel cute instead of wishing I was as cute as the other girls
75. To see what it's like to be skinny
76. To make certain people jealous
77. To take better pictures
78. To impress people at my 10-year high school reunion
79. To inspire other people
80. To fit in
81. To not have my eating habits constantly critiqued by strangers
82. To not have to feel guilty for eating
83. To be more confident
84. To not have to be the "funny one"
85. To not feel judged
86. To be able to just be myself
87. To finish something I start
88. To make my family proud
89. To have something to be proud of
90. To find out who I am
91. To conquer something
92. To not wonder "what if"
93. To prove I can
94. To finally make a change
95. To not waste more time
96. To get it over with
97. To stop the cycle
98. To live life easier
99. To enjoy life more
100. To live a better life
And there you have it...my motivation, in a list.
And then, the bastard had to go and tag me.
So, without further ado, The Rules:
1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention & add one more question of your own.
2. Tag eight other people.
What is your current obsession? Bd's Mongolian Grill
What are you wearing today? Black pants, black and red shirt, black flats.
What’s for dinner? The Hubs is in school, so probably Corn Pops and skim milk.
What’s the last thing you bought? A cinnamon raisin bagel.
What are you listening to right now? HP6 (Half-Blood Prince) audiobook so that I can finish before the movie comes out on 7/15.
If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Back to bed. One hour isn't long enough to fully enjoy anywhere else.
Which language do you want to learn? More/better French.
What do you love most about where you currently live? It is in close proximity to almost everything I need.
What is your favorite colour? I like sets of colors, not one in particular.
What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe? This nightshirt that I've had for literally as long as I can remember. It's gigantic, and when I wore it as a child, it must have swallowed me whole. It says "Jingle My Bells". And it has holes so big that I might as well not be wearing a night shirt at all. I had to make a deal with The Hubs that once one hole gets big enough for my arm to go through, I'll throw it away. It's damn close.
Describe your personal style? Meh.
If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on? Tickets to the New Kids concert. Yep, I'm that much of a nerd. I have no shame. Unless The Hubs got to the money first - then it would probably go to some totally unworthy cause, like bills or something. Bah!
What are you going to do after this? What I'm getting paid to be doing right now.
Your favorite smell? The Hubs' cologne: Perry Ellis "18"
Do you collect anything? Willow Tree figurines. And hugs...I'm a fan of hugs.
What makes you follow a blog? Good grammar and spelling + wit = a 'followable' blog.
Who do you admire? Lots of people. The Hubs for one, because he is just a really stand up fella.
What’s one thing you dream of doing? Getting pregnant and having a baby.
What is your biggest regret? Tie: that I didn't take advantage of high school, and that I didn't go to college straight away.
What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Sleep and read. Well...not at the same time, obviously.
Do you have a tattoo? I have 4. I plan on getting at least 1 more.
What are your favorite books? The DaVinci Code, The Harry Potters, The "For Dummies" series.
Are you left handed, right handed, ambidextrous, or a little of both? Right handed.
Are you a big fan of memes? Not hugely.
What's your biggest fear? I'm scared of falling off things or down things. Stairs are especially rough if my hands are full.
And now, it's your turn:
Sammy Sue @ Samantha's Saga
Natalie and/or Jason @ Monkeyface and Baldy
Dee @ My Journey
Katherine @ Katherine's Daily Adventures
Jen @ JenisZen
Nicole @ The Road to a Healthier Life
Joy @ Getting Healthy and Pregnant
Lyndsey @ I Could Do A Lot in 15 Minutes
Go forth and conquer!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sorry if the picture sucks, but this is the chart that I created for "Operation Baby Weight". I borrowed the idea from the Ash is Fit's 20/20 Challenge Chart that we received at the beginning of the challenge.
Yesterday I made a deal with
Seeing as how I've been a total bum with the whole diet and exercise thing, and also seeing as how I'm completely, hopelessly, 100% obsessed with getting pregnant, I decided to take matters into my own hands. And it went something like this:
Mrs. B.: Honey, I've decided something.
Mr. B.: (looks scared) You have? What?
Mrs. B.: When I get to 195 pounds, we're having a baby.
Mr. B.: (turning pale and pastey) We are?! How about 175 pounds?
Mrs. B.: No! I'll be happy under 200, so 195.
Mr. B.: Where are you now?
Mrs. B.: Right around 250.
Mr. B.: (calculating in his head) How about 190?
Mrs. B.: Seriously?! What's the difference between 195 and 190?!
Mr. B.: ....190?
Mrs. B.: Fine. When I get to 190 pounds, we're going to get me pregnant. Deal?
Mr. B.: Uhhhhhh....ehhhhhh.....weeeell....
(Mrs. B. gives Mr. B. "the look")
Mr. B.: Okay...deal.
And then, partly in the interest of full-disclosure, and partly because I'm an evil wife who sometimes might just get a tiny bit of enjoyment out of seeing her husband break out into an instant sweat, I added this little bit:
"You know, honey, if I really kick it into gear, I could be at 190 by the end of this year..."
...and I swear to you, I think his heart just might have stopped beating for a second. He recovered, though, and now I'm back in the game. I've got new purpose, and I'm ready to go. You know, sometimes I think you just have to procrastinate on something so much until you just can't possibly take it anymore, to really kick it into gear and make a difference. Table for one?! Because that's pretty much where I am.
My weigh-in this morning said 249.6. Today's the day that I start working on my "baby wait". I'm pretty darn excited!
My goals for this week are:
1. Take all meds daily.
2. Test blood sugar twice daily.
3. Stay under 1,600 calories daily.
4. C25k Week 3 Mon, Weds, Fri at 1% incline.
5. T5k Tues, Thurs, Sat at 1% incline.
Here I go again...
And in other news...(I think I missed my calling as a news anchor, don't you?)
The Hubs and I took The In-Laws to Bd's Mongolian Grill on Friday. I was seriously concerned about this, seeing as I'm one of the pickiest eaters on the planet. I barely eat "Chinese" food, sticking mainly to Sweet & Sour Chicken and fortune cookies. But, seriously, it was so good! The place was absolutely packed so I did feel a little rushed. I didn't get time to sample as many sauces as I would have liked, but in the end I was not at all disappointed by my choices. Next time, I'll add more veggies, since using a small amount of sauce is a great way to 'hide' them in the dish. The website has a handy dandy tool where you can create a bowl and it will automatically calculate your nutrition facts for you.
I talked MFN into going there for lunch today. Yay veggies! (Wait... what's that I hear? The flapping of tiny pig wings? The crackling of icicles in Hades? Did she just say, "yay veggies!"? I think she did!) Yep. "Yay veggies..." I'm not the person I used to be. And that's a totally awesome thing.
Saturday, I grocery shopped. I also just happened to cook the most awesomest meal I've ever cooked in the history of my wifedom. I made steak, corn on the cob, and baked potatoes, and didn't ruin anything! (Where's The MIL when I need her?!) It was so freaking good! I mean, yes, I understand that there isn't much skill in boiling corn or in putting a potato in the oven, but the steaks were awesome! My George Foreman grill is officially my favorite kitchen gadget. (After the Kitchen Aid mixer, of course!)
Sunday, we hung out at my Step-Grandparents' house for Father's Day, and then lounged around the apartment for some quality spouse time. The Hubs starts his first full week of the quarter this week, and now we've got to find him a new job as well. Needless to say, he's a busy guy. He's a busy guy who's going to have a pregnant wife to deal with as soon as I get my ass in gear.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
As in, I got plenty of nothing to tell you about. Does that stop me from blogging? Hecky naw. Read on, my friends. Read on.
My weigh-in was crap yesterday. 249. I'm not sure how it can be right, unless the 4 pounds I lost last week was all water weight. But, whatever. "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...for me, and I'm feelin' good." (Michael Buble, "Feelin' Good").
Saturday, The Hubs and I went on a double date with Candoso and Harbeeb (Candice and Harby for those not in the know). We had Olive Garden, where I'm sorry to tell you, I wasn't good at all, but it was good. I was doubly-bad and "shared" a pitcher of Sangria with The Hubs. Honestly, it was worth however many calories were in it, but it wasn't worth the $20 it cost. I couldn't believe it when I saw that! Last time we bought a pitcher, it was $13. Granted, that was a couple years ago, but a $6 increase?! I think that's just ridiculous. But I digress...
We saw this movie...
...which was hilarious, if you like raunchy, dumb humor. (Which, luckily, the four of us do, so we thoroughly enjoyed our movie-going experience.) My favorite quote from the movie was "You are literally too stupid to insult." At any rate, I suggest you see it if you're not easily offended, and you can take a joke. Mrs. B. Movie Grade: B+
After the movie, we hung out at Casa de Harbeeb for a bit and then went to our favorite local bar. As usual, the girls hung out outside on the patio and chatted, while the guys played darts inside. And that's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I like it. (Uh huh, uh huh). (KC and The Sunshine Band, "That's The Way (Uh Huh, Uh Huh) I Like It").
Sunday was my Dad's birthday party, which I was doubly excited about because (1) I missed my Dad, and (2) I got to meet my new "sister".
Isn't she beautiful? And, of course, I would be a bad sister if I didn't pay a little attention to my goofball 'brother' Winston...
Hanging out with these guys, plus The BFF spending the weekend with her (and my, by extension) two beautiful prego friends made me say this bit of rubbish as we drove away:
Crazy Mrs. B.: I want a baby.
Incredulous Husband: A baby? Or a dog?
Crazy Mrs. B.: Both. Either. And/Or. But I want a baby.
Incredulous Husband: *nervous laughter*
Mind you, we're nowhere near ready to have a baby. I know this. But I can't help it. I blame it on Katie over at Confessions of a Young Married Couple who just gave birth to the most adorable little bean ever, and was brave enough to share her pregnancy with the whole blogging world. I'm sure she'll be glad to know that she's the reason for my sudden baby-craziness.
I'm not sure that makes it any easier on The Hubs, though. Oh well. Does anyone out there have an adorable baby that they wouldn't mind sharing with a very responsible, loving, fun blogger?! I need some baby time to get over the urge...
No? No one? No takers? Bah. Guess I'll have to go to the pet store and find some puppies to play with or something...
Ever the queen of non-sequiturs: The Hubs passed all of his classes this quarter! Send him a little mental (or blog comment-y) pat on the back if you get the chance. He was really worried about the Math class he was taking because it was uber challenging for him, but he passed! This is great for several reasons, (1) he doesn't have to struggle through the class again, (2) he can move on to his last math class next quarter, (3) we don't have to pay $500 for the course! Woot! Needless to say, he's very relieved, but not thrilled about starting the next quarter (2 of 6) tomorrow. Yep - he got a whole two days off for break. Bah.
This week's agenda involves cleaning up our
pig sty apartment before The Hubs has a nervous breakdown, dragging my fat ass off the couch and back onto that damn treadmill, and digging a hole in our backyard big enough to hide all the leftover movie candy. I'm keeping a Goo Goo though. You might have to pry it out of my dead hands.
Seriously, though, I'm now 17 days away from 5k #2 and I haven't ran since 5k #1. Yes, I'm horrible. I know this. But "tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen" (Pointer Sisters, "I'm So Excited"). If it weren't completely insane security-wise, I would totally give you all my phone number so you could call me and force me to get on that damn treadmill. Right now, I feel like that's just about what it would take.
But I know that's not your job. It's my job to make myself do it. I'm the one responsible for me. But, man, wouldn't it be easier if I could blame it on you?! But I wont. I promise. I 'blame' it on you when I do well, though, because a lot of times it's your encouragement that gets me to try new things and to do things I didn't think I could do. So, see...some of it is your fault. (Thanks for that!)
Ugh, anyway, for a girl with nothing to write about, I sure know how to ramble. Let's sum up this post, shall we?
I gained weight. Olive Garden is expensive. The Hangover was good. Dad had a birthday. Dogs are cute. Babies are cute. I want dogs and babies. No one will let me borrow their baby. The Hubs is a smartypants. Goo Goos are awesome. I miss my treadmill and it misses me. Bloggy friends are the best.
Posted by Anna at 1:10 PM
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Here's your Monday weigh-in, a day late. Yesterday was a little crazy, and it was all I could do to get the 5k recap in. Better late than never, and without further ado:
Yep, you read correctly. I lost FOUR POUNDS last week!
Having my little mini breakdown and having my 5k looming over my head was just what I needed to get myself back on track. Here's how I did:
-I did a total of 25k (20 on the treadmill and 5 on the road).
-I stayed within my calories all but one day. Although, I'm pretty sure that I was in negative calories on Saturday, having only eaten one meal and running around getting stuff done.
-I took my Metformin 5 out of 7 days. Saturday and Sunday it was mainly just because I didn't eat a 'real' dinner, so I didn't think about taking the meds.
-I did two workouts at a 1% incline. I need to up this this week!
-I absolutely failed at not checking the scale. I kept seeing it go down, so I wanted to keep checking it to make sure it wasn't a figment of my imagination.
This week, I've been really sore since the 5k, and in random places. Sunday night, it was my hamstrings/quads. Monday morning, it was my shoulders and back (I think I hunch over while running...gotta stop that!), and Monday night it was my inner thighs.
I actually kind of like being sore, because I know it means that I'm doing something good for my body. I can usually do a t5k and not feel that bad the next day, so I know that I was really working myself out at the race on Sunday. Now, the trouble is just getting on the treadmill and working through the soreness. I know I need to, and I know it will help, but I'm dreading it. Tonight it is, though!
I'm going to officially start c25k again this week, with Week 3. I'm going to do each workout at a 1% incline, and I'm going to throw in one more t5k. I'm going to keep my calories between 1400 and 1900 (except for yesterday), and I'm going to continue to remember to take my Metformin at dinner every night.
I'm not looking for another 4 pound week, but I'd really like to have a 2 pounder. My new short-term goal is to be at (or under) 240 by the 4th of July 5k. Totally doable.
In other (random) news:
I get to buy my new phone this week! I decided on the new enV Touch. The Hubs and I went to play with it last Friday at a Verizon store, and I totally loved it! I didn't think I would, because I hate The Hubs' Voyager, and the Touch is it's replacement. I'm super excited to get it; I can't wait!
Now that I've got a 5k under my belt, I have an incredible urge to buy all kinds of running paraphernalia. I really need a timing watch, I'd like a new pair of shoes, and some running pants would really come in handy! The money to buy all these things would come in handy as well. Bummer.
I wish I had the money to promise myself incentives for losing weight. Every year, Jimmy Buffet comes to town, and every year, tickets sell out in less than 10 minutes. We were lucky enough to get tickets last year, but this year we weren't. Now, if you want to go, you have to pay at least twice the ticket price. I would really like to be able to say "If I lose a total of 30 pounds by August 1st (the Saturday before the concert) I'm going to see Buffet!" The problem(s) with this are: (1) I can't afford to buy a ticket to Buffet, (2) I don't want to go by myself, so someone else would have to shell out a ton of money for a ticket, and (3) the closer you get to the concert, the more expensive tickets get, so waiting until the Saturday before the concert almost makes it impossible to buy them. Bah. I really need better ideas for incentives!
My dad and step-mom got a new doggie a couple weeks ago! I get to see her this Sunday. She's a Blue Weimaraner, and apparently she's the perfect little sister for our other Weimy, Winston.
Five-year-old Maisey is on the left, my dad's in the middle, and my nine-year-old 'brother' Winston is on the right. I can't wait to meet her!
Guess that's all the news for now. Have a great week, lovelies!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Update: My 'official' time was 47:37. Damn them for taking away those 7 seconds! It's all good, though...I'm still stoked!
This weekend was so screwey, and that's not what I was looking for right before I had to do my first 5k. Saturday, I had Chick-fil-a for lunch after we picked up our race packets, and then I was so busy with running errands and doing stuff around the house, I didn't even stop to eat dinner. I finally realized this around 9:45, and I didn't want to eat right before bed, and right before a race.
After tossing and turning in bed for an hour and a half, I decided that I needed to get up and at least put something in my stomach, so being the health-conscious, nutritious eater that I am, I had a handfull of honey roasted peanuts and hit the sack.
Let's just say I think I slept better in the middle of the woods with the possibility of animals eating me, and crazy murderers getting me. I could NOT turn off my brain. I wrote down everything I was thinking about before I went to bed, which usually helps, but nothing would work! I drifted in and out of sleep until my alarm went off at 5:50 am.
We were on the road by about 6:15, and we showed up at the race site at 7:00. They had told us to get there early if we didn't want to walk from a nearby Kroger parking lot, so we did. In the end, there wasn't very much competition for good spots, and our 3 cars all ended up making it into the right parking lot.
I ate a banana, had some powerade, and took 2 Ibuprofens about 1/2 hour before the race started, and then we all just kind of stood around in a nervous stupor for a bit. All of a sudden, I started to get really nervous, even though I know that if I just walked the whole thing, I'd finish in under an hour. I think part of it was that we were standing there, with that Scarlet R on our bibs, in the midst of 'real' runners. I guess I didn't want them to judge me, thinking that I think I'm a real runner like they are. I would have liked it to say, 'yeah, it says "R", but don't worry, I'm not delusional enough to think I'm as good as you..." but I guess that would have been too long to write on a bib.
So we stood there, and waited for the race to start. The BFF decided several times that she didn't want to actually do this, but she did it, of course. I believe Tonja mentioned the words "stroke" and "ambulance" a couple times, and I pretty much stuck to the nervous whine/wimper that I tend to do when I'm not quite sure I want to do something that I know I have to do.
As the race started, we stuck to the back of the pack because we didn't want to get passed by everyone.
I probably made it about 3/10ths of a mile before I decided to start walking. The BFF and Tonja made it farther than I did. Once I started walking, I sort of began to panic, because it felt like I wasn't going anywhere. I knew my legs were moving, but it felt like my scenery wasn't changing at all! I guess that since I've been training on a treadmill, I didn't realize how different it would feel when the earth under my feet wasn't moving for me.
I probably ended up running the most in that first mile, and when I made it to the 1 mile marker, I saw a lady sitting there. This being my first 5k ever, I didn't quite realize what she was doing there, but then I saw her talking to the lady in front of me. I took my earbud out long enough to hear her tell me that I was at 14:20-something. So many things were going through my head at that moment - 'oh my god, this sucks!', 'oh my god, I'm never doing this again', 'oh my god, did she say FOURTEEN?!?!?' - that I missed the actual seconds of the time she told me. Never in my life have I done anything less than a 16 minute mile, and here I am thinking I'm not moving at all, doing a 14-something! I kept going, thinking her time had to be wrong. There was no way that my lead feet were doing a 14-something minute mile.
Mile #2 was mostly through a residential area, with several long, rolling hills. I ran down the hills as much as I could, and walked up them. I was so scared that I wasn't moving my feet fast enough, that I just kept telling myself that I had to keep up the pace, no matter how long the hill was. "Don't slow down. Keep the beat of the music. You can't slow down. You gotta move. It's almost over - this hill is almost over!" And then the hill would be over, I'd run down as much as I could, and then continue on my walk. At the 2 mile marker, the man there told me "30:07".
Now, I'm pretty sure most people just hear their time and keep on walking like it's no big deal, but everytime I'd hear my time I'd say "Thank You!!!" and keep on going. If you're telling me that I'm doing 14 and 15 minute miles, you'd better bet I'm going to thank you for that!
Mile #3 was mostly straight away back to the church, but with a big, fat hill in the way. Tonja had long since been out of our sights - she Energizer Bunnied it through the course. The BFF was a little bit behind me for some of mile 2, and then she kicked it into high gear and passed me up. I was pretty much all alone for the rest of my trip, except for an older woman in front of me that I just couldn't catch up to.
Random note: Since the course was on a public road, and through neighborhoods, there were a lot of cars passing by. At first, I was self-conscious, thinking about all my flab bouncing around for all to see, and again, thinking "I hope these people don't think that I think I have the ability to actually do this". Why did I feel that way? Why did I want to negate what I was doing? I don't know why I keep acting like it's not a big deal that I'm attempting to run a 5k. It's like I just don't want people to feel pity for me, or laugh at me in that "Oh, that fat girl thinks she's going to run a 5k?!?! Bwaaaahahahaha!" kind of way. I just have this internal need to let other people know that I know full well I'm not going to run the whole thing. I'm not kidding myself. But, really, why does it matter?! That drives me nuts!
Anyway, like I said, at first I was really self-conscious. Then I started trying to look at it this way: maybe in one of those cars is an overweight woman who feels helpless. Maybe she wants to lose weight but doesn't think she can do it. Maybe she wants nothing more than to go out and see how far she can run, but she, too, is self-conscious about flailing flab. Maybe, just maybe, she'll pass me on the road and think, "Wow...look at her. She's bigger than I am, and she's out here running. She doesn't care about her floppy stomach. Maybe if she can do it, I can." (Of course, she would have no way of knowing that in my head, all I'm thinking about is my floppy stomach and trying not to die...thank god we don't have thought bubbles above our heads!) But that thought is what kept me running when I could. I'm not just doing this thing for me. I'm doing it for fat, flabby, self-conscious women everywhere.
I came up to the 3 mile marker and started running again right after I passed it. When I turned into the church parking lot, there were several finished runners ligned up cheering the rest of us on. That was a really nice thing to experience. I booked it as long and hard as I could, and crossed the finish line in 47:37. I was so out of breath that one of the workers had to take the bottom part of my bib off for me for scoring. I just couldn't even breathe well enough to concentrate on that.
The Hubs met me at the finish line and gave me a big hug and a kiss, and I came so close to crying because (1) I couldn't catch my breath, and (2) I had just finished my first 5k, 5 minutes faster than I'd ever done before.
After a while, I finally caught my breath, and we stayed for the awards. Would you believe it?! The BFF and I came in 1st and 2nd for women in our age group! Now, wouldn't it be mean of me to leave out the part where I tell you that we were the only two women in our age group? Oh well...
It was an amazing experience that I wouldn't exactly call "fun". That's all I kept hearing before the race..."5k's are so fun! You're going to have a great time! Enjoy!" Um, excuse me? Fun? Riding a roller coaster is fun. Going to a concert is fun. Practically killing yourself on a 3.1 mile trek at 250 pounds? Not exactly what I would call fun.
Rewarding? Yes. Worth it? Yes. Something to be proud of? Yes, but "Fun"? I'm not quite there yet.
All in all, I'm really glad that we did it. We've got the first one under our belts, and now we know what to expect from the others. The only thing that sucks to me is that you can't get a true comparison of whether you have improved from one to the next, since the courses are different. What if we do the 5k on the 4th, and it's chock full of crazy hills? Of course my time will be slower, even if I've been training harder. How do you compare that?
I don't really care how you compare it. All I care about is fulfilling the goals that I set for myself at the beginning of the year, and right now, I can say "last year I ran a 5k". That's so much better than "last year I sat on my ass".
I'm a happy girl.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Thanks for all the support, you guys! I can't believe I just did that!
I'll blog more about it later, but now I totally need a nap!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Tonja, The BFF and I all went to pick up our packets together this morning. Somehow, magically, even though our names are not close to each other alphabetically, and we all sent in our registration forms separately, we ended up getting sequential numbers: 1938, 1939, and 1940. I thought that was pretty cool...
See that "R" under my number? That stands for "Runner", and I'm not exactly sure they know how loosely that term should be used in my case, but whatev. I'll go with it.
Also in my 'packet' was this lot of runner swag:
A shampoo/conditioner sample, a travel-sized 30 SPF sunblock that is "Ultra Sweatproof" - thanks, I'll need that -, a travel-sized Dove Lotion, and a packet of PowerBar Carbohydrate Electrolyte Gel in Green Apple flavor - mmmm, yummy! (I'm seriously intrigued by this.) I'm a sucker for free stuff!
After we picked up our packets, we got in my car and took the route of the race course. This, of course, is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, now we know the lay of the land, what to expect, and how much farther we have to go until we reach the finish line. On the other hand, we now know how much farther we have to go until we reach the finish line.
Seriously?! 3.1 miles is a looooooong way, dude! I'm in a wee bit of shock, and it's my fault. My 5k's have been stationary - I've never been outside and mapped that distance, and to tell you the truth, if I had, there's a good chance I would have quit right then and there. But I didn't, and I won't, and tomorrow I'll give this thing everything I've got.
One good thing about this course - it's really pretty. It goes around a lake, past a horse farm, and past another lake before coming back to the starting line. The website says "rolling hills", and I'd say that's fairly accurate. Most of the course is pretty flat, with probably 3-4 long (not tall, but long) hills throughout.
Good thing #2 - this race is for runners and walkers, as I'm pretty sure most 5k's are. For me, this means two things: (1) there will be other people there with me in the back, and (2) there will be people there that I will be faster than! I'm just glad that I (hopefully) won't be the last person across that finish line. I may be the last runner, but if I beat the walkers, I'll be happy. Plus, having people there towards the end will help push me to keep going, to run as much as I can, and to finish faster than somebody.
Good thing #3 - the weather is supposed to be great! 62 degrees, mostly sunny, and only a 10% chance of rain. It doesn't get much better than that!
I'm really excited. I have no idea how I'll do, but at the very least, I'll be able to say I did it. That, to me, is what really counts.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Tuesday: 1200 calories, t5k
Wednesday: 3000 calories, sat on fat ass. (Good day all around!)
Thursday: 990 calories, t10k
Friday: 1100 calories so far, Steak & Salad for dinner, t5k
Saturday: Hoping to stay around 1100, t5k in preparation for REAL 5k
Sunday: REAL 5k @ 8am!!!
Monday: Weigh-in, hopefully around 247. (We'll see!)
*all calorie counts are after working out.
Have a great weekend, lovelies! :-)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Fortunately, my New Every 2 comes available on the 11th, so I'm using the in between time to research my next phone. I've got it narrowed down to these four:
The LG Dare:
The LG Versa:
And the Samsung Omnia :
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
I really appreciate all of the encouraging comments you've left. It's actually really comforting to know that I've got so many people supporting me -
-my amazing husband, who gives me a pat on the back and a kiss when he comes home from school, even though I'm dripping with sweat from my treadmill 5ks...
-The BFF, who is the other pea in my overly-analytical pod, who understands pretty much exactly what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it (usually without me even having to tell her).
-my blog and BHM buddies, who don't even really "know" me, but still take time out of their days to read what my rambling, crazy mind comes up with, and to leave me words of encouragement when I probably don't deserve them.
My life is good. Thanks for that.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
You read right.
06/07: "Run For The Prize"
07/04: "4th of July Spectacular"
08/01: "Lady Distance Classic"
09/06: "Cincinnati Zoo Cheetah Run"
10/03: "Reggae Run"
All right. Let's go. I'm ready.
This is the post that I have been dreading. I know I've needed to tell you all how my diet is going, and I just haven't wanted to. I wont lie to you, so that means I have to tell you that I've been failing, and that's just not something I've wanted to do. If I'm being perfectly honest, I've got to tell you that even though I've been busy, the bigger reason I haven't posted much lately is that I don't want to disappoint you all and tell you that I haven't been working out, eating right, or even attempting to meet any of my goals. And that's exactly what I used to do. That's exactly what got me to 260 pounds, that's exactly what I promised myself, and all of you, that I was not going to do this time. It really hurts to realize that I hadn't really changed. Well, I did change, but I guess it wasn't permanent. It hurts me most to know that some of you read this blog and find me inspiring, and I feel like I have absolutely failed you. I'm used to failing myself, but when it affects other people, that's just unacceptable to me.
I know exactly when it happened, too. It was the week I was supposed to start Week 4 of C25k, and I started this big project at work that had me moving a ton of stuff. Work was kicking my butt, and I was too lazy to make myself work at work, and work at home. It sent me on a downward spiral of laziness. I got out of the habit, and damn it's easy to get out of the habit. Why is this so hard to do? Why is it so easy to get out of the workout habit, and so freaking hard to get out of the laziness habit? I know I need to do it...it would improve so many areas of my life if I were less lazy. It would make my husband's life easier. My MIL would think more highly of me. My house would be a lot cleaner. I would quit feeling so paranoid at work. I would actually be able to say I accomplished things.
And it feels good to be able to say I accomplish things. I'm proud of the ten pounds I've lost so far. It feels great to know that my goal weight is only 50 pounds away now, instead of 60. I feel great when I'm so tired and sweaty after a treadmill 5k that I can barely stand up. I live in the daydreams that one day I'll feel comfortable in a swimsuit. I want these things. I really, really want to be healthy and to feel pretty in my own skin. I want it, but I sure as hell don't want to work for it. Therein lies the rub. Or, maybe Shakespeare will forgive me if I say, "Therein lies the lazy".
I'm disappointed in myself for failing. I'm disappointed in myself for making yet another attempt and not pulling through. I'm disappointed in myself for continuing to drag you along, saying, "This is it. This is the week that I'm going to get back on track. Do you believe me?", and you do. And then I become a liar - I turn myself into a liar. I hate liars.
And I don't blame you if you don't believe me right now when I say that this is it. Again. Is this it for the last time? I want to pull out my Eternal Optimist card and say "Hell yes!", but as eternally optimistic as I may be, I've still got a healthy dose of reality in my world. I'm human. I fail. I have failed, and I will fail. It's all about "Fall seven times, stand up eight". If I have to lose this weight ten pounds in five months at a time, then that's what I've got to do. It's not a race. It's not a competition. It's my life.
Get the fuck off my Skinny Me.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The website for the campground had a map showing all the campsites and their locations as compared to the campground's Family Fun Center which was supposedly equipt with mini golf, go karts, and most importantly, shower houses. According to the map, our campsite was easily within walking distance of this area, so the three women in our group were very excited at the prospect of camping with nearby indoor plumbing.
Unfortunately, the map they provided was not a topographic map, and while they may have been a quarter mile apart distance-wise, they didn't mention that we would have to walk up a busy road, then up an 80 degree treacherous gravel incline, and across a field to get to the showers and toilets. Needless to say, that wasn't going to happen.
The boys obviously didn't care about this, because well...they're boys. They don't have a problem peeing anywhere they like. The BFF is a self-admitted germaphobe, and was having difficulty deciding where she wanted to 'go', Tonja 'manned' up and took the squatting route, and I braved these:
Here's our campsite, right on the Hocking River:
The Hubs and the boys went looking for firewood for us, and The Hubs came back and said, "Geez, someone must have been afraid of vampires or something - look at this stake!" We all know my love of puns, so I couldn't resist making him take pictures with various "stakes" through the heart for the rest of the trip.
The modern tent stake:
Saturday, we had signed up for a canoe/kayak trip. I guess I knew in my head that it was an 8 mile trip, but I didn't realize just exactly how long 8 miles really is. If I had thought about that before hand, I might have paddled a little bit harder on the first half.
Here's the crew at a little docking spot right after the launch.
It was the perfect day for the trip - not too hot, sunny, and lots of big shade trees on the banks.
Tonja takes advantage of the sun:
Saturday night, we got back to camp and had dinner. We were just about to hit the s'mores when The BFF's BF got a call from his mom freaking out because we were about to get some bad weather our way. I had been doing okay so far with the whole nature/dirt/bugs/sleeping outside thing, but hearing the word "tornado" scared the bejezus out of me. We all started packing as much stuff into the cars as we could in case we had to get out in a hurry. I've never packed so fast in my life, dude. In the end, I had everything in the car but the tent, air mattress/cot and sleeping bags. I was ready to go.
I told The Hubs that if it started to rain, we were getting in that car. Sure enough, it started to rain, so I folded up my chair (with the Diet Coke still in the armrest, which The Hubs was thrilled about, let me tell you) and high tailed it to the car. Once there, I cried and cried and cried. So I'm a wuss, sue me. The Hubs got really frustrated with me freaking out, but my whole point was that he's a freaking Eagle Scout. He's done this a thousand times, and in weather a thousand times worse. This was the very first time I had ever slept outside. We didn't even do backyard camping when I was a kid. Of course I was freaked out!
We called his mom, and she checked weather.com for us. She told us that it didn't look too bad, just some rain and stuff that should be over by midnight. We ended up unpacking the things we needed for the night and staying there. The Hubs and I went to bed a little after midnight, and that's when the downpour started. It was supposed to be over by then! It only took about twenty minutes for The Hubs to start feeling drops on his sleeping bag. Our brand new tent had a leaky seam, right across the section of the tent where his body was. There wasn't really any room for him to move around, so that awesome Eagle Scout of a man spent the night with water dripping on his body. And then I woke up at 2:30 am with the uncontrollable need to pee, so I woke him up and he walked with me to the Porta Potties and checked the inside for bugs for me.
Bless that man. I certainly do love him.
We got up Sunday morning, packed the tents up, and decided to hit up Cracker Barrel for lunch. The Hubs always plays the little wooden game at the table, and this time, he conquered it on his first try!
Without further ado, Post #1, or "What I've Been Doing for the Past Twelve Days," by Mrs. B.
When we last spoke, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of the warp in the space/time continuum that made my shoes perfectly comfortable in-store, and unbearable at home. Yes, groundbreaking, earth-shattering news, I know.
I put on my back up shoes when I left work because I had to hurry to Bed, Bath and Beyond to buy whatever I could scrounge together from my cousins' registry on the night before the wedding. Ugh. Yes, I know, it's my fault for waiting until the last minute, but I couldn't help it. I walked in, armed with a handful of BBB coupons, printed off their registry, and started rummaging through my choices. Of course, the $300 Kitchen Aid Mixer and the $300 vacuum were still available, but I could only afford about $30 worth of gifts. Guess what they got. Go ahead, I dare you. Give up?
They got spoons. I got them all of the random, individual serving spoons on their registry and called it a day. It's quite possibly the worst/strangest gift I've ever given someone, but in my defense, they registered for them, so they must have wanted them. And those things are freaking expensive individually - between $7-$10 a piece! (That's expensive to me, but maybe I'm cheap...) I'm sure they'll think of us every time they have a need to scoop, dip or stir.
Anyway, I bought their gift, went back to the house, packed for the wedding and the weekend, and we went up to The Hubs' parents' house. We finally got to hang out with The Kids, and had a really fun night at the bar with them. I drank a lot, but never really got drunk. (Which seems to be how it goes since the gallbladder left town...) At any rate, we got to hang with them, which should buy us another month or two of crazy schedules that interrupt friend time. Bah, I hate that!
The reception was good. I had the most amazing roast beef I think I've ever had, and I did The Booty Call, The Cha Cha Slide, and The Cupid Shuffle - in my shoes! They actually ended up being one of the more comfortable pairs of high heels I own. I'm really glad I gave them a second chance.
I went out to lunch with The BFF and Tonja, and then we had shopping to do! We hit up Wal Mart and Target for camping supplies, and then I went home and did grocery shopping with The Hubs. Lots of shopping that day, nothing really exciting to report.
Memorial Day. Instead of going out to my Mom's house, we lounged around all day and enjoyed the first day in a very long time that we had absolutely nowhere to be. The Hubs did homework most of the day, and I enjoyed an all-day John & Kate Plus 8 marathon while cleaning out my closet. (Yes, it took almost a whole day to clean out my closet. Don't judge.) I filled 3 trash bags full of Goodwill goodness, and sorted and organized all my junk. What a fun and exciting life I lead.
I went with MFN andThe BFF to see "A Chorus Line". Can you say "booo-riiing"? OMG, I thought it was never going to end! Luckily, I'm not crazy, and MFN and The BFF felt the same way. Maybe we're Theater Snobs, maybe we've been spoiled by Les Mis and the other amazing shows we've seen, but man, was that a rough two hours to sit through. Oh well, at least I can add another show to my list.
I got the 2009-2010 schedule the other day, and I'm pretty much going to have to get a second job to pay for my theater habit. "Mama Mia!", "The Color Purple", "Rent", "Chicago", "Legally Blonde: The Musical", "Dreamgirls", and I'm super excited about this one: "Mary Poppins"! I HAVE to see all of them, or I'm pretty sure I'll die. (What? I'm being overly dramatic? You think so? Okay, fine. I'd really, really, really like to see these shows, and if I don't, I'll be really sad. Better? Good.)
I realized on Wednesday that there was no way I was going to be able to get all of our camping stuff organized and packed, and clean up our apartment in time for the trip on Friday, so I took Thursday off. I spent the first 4 hours of my day reformatting my iPod and adding/organizing songs. Ugh, what a P.I.T.A.! Then I spent the rest of the day cleaning, organizing, and packing. When The Hubs got back to the house around 11pm, we only had a few things left to do on our list. It never would have gotten finished if I had worked that day.
Friday - Sunday:
Camping. I'll give it it's own post.
Back to civilization, back to work, back to the diet and exercise. I'll give the whole diet and exercise thing it's own post, too. (Aren't you lucky?!)
So you may have had to live without me for 12 days, but as you can see, I had a lot going on.
Do you forgive me? I sure hope so.