Five.

I was happy with four, really I was. That there's my problem, you see. I started out this year saying "Hell yeah, I'm gonna run five 5ks this year!" The first one sucked, but was exciting. The second, third and especially the fourth, really sucked and weren't quite as exciting as that first 5k high. I had the fifth one scheduled and then (miracle of miracles) I had to go to my Grandparents' 50th Anniversary that day and couldn't go to the race.

And you know what, besides a little disappointment, I was perfectly okay with not reaching my goal of five 5ks. I had made my peace with it, especially after the Cheetah Run absolutely kicked my ass.

Sure, there was a little nagging voice in my head saying "look, you need to do another one. You said you'd do five, and you need to do five." but he was so easily squashed by the memories of the suckiness of the previous ones that I really wasn't worried about it.

Then The BFF (bless her little, pea-picking heart) sent me an email at work one day a couple weeks ago.

"Any interest in doing this 5k with me?"
"Yes, actually." (Where the HELL did that come from?! That couldn't have been me!)

And then the dread set in. My thought process went something like this: "Oh my God, I have to do this again? What the hell am I thinking? Although, it would be nice to actually accomplish my goal. Yeah, but dude, they suck! I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this."

And most of the way to the course, I repeated that mantra. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this."

But, I did.

Here's The BFF and I with the Mayor of Santaland! Who knew that (1) there was a Santaland, and (2) it had a mayor who frequented 5ks? (ps...does he not look like a Willy Wonka character?! lol)

Yeah, it's all fun and games before the torture starts.

The 5k was through a local drive-through holiday lights display. Most of the first mile was a nice flat loop out and back, and then it went two times up through the loop where the lights display was. OH. MY. GOD. the hills. I will have nightmares about those hills. One hill that went up for ever and ever and ever. Then down a steep hill, then up a smaller hill, then down a steep hill, then up another freaking hill that went on for ever and ever and ever again, then down a steep hill.

I have never been so close to giving up in all my life. After the third hill on that loop, I really thought that I was going to finish the first lap around and give up. I very, very seriously considered stopping when I rounded the corner and saw the first hill looming in front of me. And the two-mile marker midway up was just a slap in the face. I couldn't do it. I couldn't face doing those hills again and going through that hell. It was cold. I couldn't feel my hands, I couldn't breathe, and when I did, it was icy daggers in my chest. I wasn't even two miles in yet, and had three huge, crazy-ass hills standing in my way.

And I didn't want to do the damn 5k in the first place.

Luc,kily, as I rounded that corner and saw that hill, I also caught a glimpse of two of my co-workers just a couple steps infront of me. They had started the race as walkers. As walkers, and they had passed me. Which isn't really that scandalous, since I'm used to getting passed by walkers when I do 5ks. But they were my co-workers. One, I didn't want to look bad infront of them, since they knew I started as a runner, and two, I was so focused on catching up with them that I temporarily forgot about my determination to give up, I turned the corner and started up those damn hills one last time.

And I finished that damn race. I finished my FIFTH 5k of 2009. As much as I didn't want to, I accomplished the goal I set back in May. I have actually completely completed a goal. Other than my wedding, I am almost 100% positive that I can't say that about anything else in my life.

I didn't want to, but I did, and I'm glad.

Practically perfect in every way...

I know that I'm not perfect, and I know that I can be annoying (who me?!), frustrating (never!), and sometimes bitchy (mood swings? Unheard of!). In spite of these things, my husband loves me; I know this to be true. And (admittedly) unlike myself, he's very good at keeping criticism to himself.

However...

Yesterday, while cleaning, I gathered up all the DVD cases and random loose DVDs that have been floating around our house for the past couple of months.

This picture tells you two things: (1) I have an unhealthy obsession with Gilmore Girls (all but two of those loose DVDs are from different GG seasons), and (2) I really suck at putting DVDs away. It's one of the only things that The Hubs will actually (in his gently nudging way) complain about. I leave DVDs in the player, on top of the player, on top of the TV, next to the TV, close to the TV, and just about anywhere but in the case and on the shelf.

So I gathered them all up, and on my third (yes, third) trip carrying DVDs into the living room from our bedroom, The Hubs said, "Where the hell were those?! I didn't even see them in there!"

Oopsie...remember that you love me, honey!

But, in the end, I made good and everything was back where it belongs. All the DVDs were in their cases and back in alphabetical order on the shelves.

And all was right with the world. At least until I decide to watch the whole Gilmore Girls series again.

(I love you, honey!)

Rinse and repeat.

Stayed in my calories today. Only made it 2 miles on the treadmill, but I'm still calling it a victory.

Finding it hard to stay optimistic with PMS looming her ugly head and the fact that my Diabetes medication is resulting in gastrointestinal explosions that would rival Old Faithful.

Oh, was that TMI? Welcome to my world. It's lovely here.

Proof

Eternal Optimist

So...today I start diet and c25k again. For the gazillionth time.

Here are the facts:

I weighed 250.2 this morning.
I have my A1c appointment in exactly 3 weeks.
My A1c was at 6.4 three months ago.
I want my A1c to be at 6.2 or lower when I get tested.
I also want to lose between 8 and 10.3 pounds by my test.

I stayed within my calories today, and I'm now trying to talk myself into changing my clothes and setting foot on that treadmill for the first time in months.

Why is that first step always the hardest?

I'll update you on my progress (and hopefully not the lack thereof) later tonight.

Ugh.

October 18, 2009

So, I should have written this post yesterday, but I was a little preoccupied with my husband and my anniversary and all...

Better late than never, right? So without further ado:

The Hubs was incredibly sweet and sent 18 amazing roses to me at work on Friday. As most women will agree, there's little better in this world than getting flowers at work. It's pretty much the best - and even better when they're absolutely gorgeous, as these were:

It just so happens that we got married on Sweetest Day, which I realize is not a "real" holiday, and isn't even celebrated throughout the whole country. Alas, it is celebrated here in the mid-west, and we now get to take full advantage of the fact that our anniversary will fall on or near Sweetest Day every year.

How did we take advantage of it this year? The Ohio Renaissance Festival's Romance Weekend. One, we love RenFest, and two, what's better than a little medieval romance on your anniversary?

We started out the day with our favorite show: Guido Crescendo (left) and Dirk Perfect (right) as The Swordsmen:

We walked around and meandered through the tons and tons of artisan shops until it was time for the big event: a medieval mass vow renewal. We met at the chapel and renewed our vows in a renaissance ceremony with about 2o other couples.

During our wedding, I somehow managed to hold myself together and made it through the whole ceremony while only shedding a couple dainty tears. For some reason, I couldn't hold it together in front of 20 other couples at the Renaissance Festival! What's up with that?! While I was saying my vows, the tears just started flowing and wouldn't stop. It was very touching.

Here we are with the pastor who performed the ceremony:

And here we are with our ceremonial certificate:

After the vow renewal, we were both starting to get hungry, and you know what that means...

A giant turkey leg for The Hubs! (I personally think it's grosser than gross, but whatever floats his boat...)

For me, heaven is:

Funnel Cake! (Although, this one was waaaaaay too crispy.)

After the good eats, it was time for one of the crowd favorites:

The Joust! This was our side's knight, Sir Marcus. He kind of sucked, as the other guy beat him in all the games of skill and kicked his butt in the actual joust. Oh well, the horses were beautiful, and - bonus - they're rescue horses! Yay!

We had both decided that we would get each other's anniversary presents at the festival, and The Hubs picked out this amazing, hand-made walking stick. As a bonus, the artisan hand-carved his initials in it for us while we waited!

The gift I picked was this beautiful ceramic ring/jewelry bowl:
I love it!

One of my favorite parts of the Renaissance Festival is the fact that they always have amazing artisans there performing their crafts. We watched this glassblower make a beautiful mug:

And then we couldn't resist bringing two home for ourselves:

I'm not sure if you can tell from the picture, but they are HUGE! They probably hold about 20 ounces, and they probably weigh more than a pound a piece! Incredibly heavy and beautiful. (And ex-pen-SIVE, at $40 each, but we couldn't resist!)

There were so many beautiful bowls and ornaments and vases in his shop, we could have easily spent another $200 there, but instead, we managed to just keep it to those mugs and a $20 ornament:

We walked around some more and decided on a whim to stop and watch the belly dancers. OH. MY. GOD. if I could do that, my husband would be a very happy man. I have video that I hope to post sometime soon, but for now, you'll just have to take these pictures and use your imagination...

First, she stole someone's beer and did an entire routine with it on her head:

And then, she moved on to something a little more *ahem* dangerous...

They were amazing, and made a chilly day awfully H-O-T.

When we got home, The Hubs took his pre-work nap, and it wasn't until he had been at work for a half an hour that we remembered that we hadn't done any of the other anniversary things we were supposed to do yesterday.

Oh well, that means two days of anniversary! LOL

So, tonight when we got home, The Hubs made dinner, and we had some dessert...

Two layers of saran wrap and three layers of aluminum foil later, and voila! Year old cake! Yummm...
We were both a wee bit apprehensive to actually try it, but once we did, we were pleasantly surprised at how well it held up. It was a little soggy from the strawberry filling, but tasted and smelled like fresh, yummy cake. Thanks to The BFF one year later for making our delish wedding cake!

After the cake, it was time for us to reaffirm our wedding vows, which we read from a copy of our wedding ceremony. Then it was time for the part I was most excited about...

I'm not sure if I ever told you about our unity ceremony. Our mothers each brought up a piece of ribbon and our pastor held it while we "tied the knot". We made the ribbons long enough so that we could tie a new knot every year on our anniversary...
And that, my dear friends, was my very first wedding anniversary. It was a great day, and I'm definitely looking forward to many more.

I am

It's been a month since my last blog. I'm still here, lurking around everyone else's posts and following along silently. Some of you have commented or emailed to check in on me, and for that, I am grateful.

Work is crazy. Apparently we've done our own version of the Louisiana Purchase, and that means everyone runs around like nuts and attempts to deal with the fallout. But, alas, I have a job, and for that, I am grateful.

The weight is the same. I'm back to taking my diabetes meds and trying not to pig out quite so much. I still haven't managed to step one foot on the treadmill. I blame pogo.com's Yahtzee. I have not gained, and for that, I am grateful.

Fall is here, and brings with it changing leaves, sweatshirt weather, and the ability to take comfort in warm drinks, and for that, I am grateful.

The Biggest Loser is back, and for that, I am grateful.

The Hubs is fine. Busy, overworked, and frazzled, but fine. In 10 days, we'll celebrate a milestone, and for that (and him), I am grateful.

Everyone in our families is healthy and as happy as their circumstances will allow. And for that, I am grateful.

I am alive, free, and happy, and for that, I am grateful.