Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Over it.

Last Week: 239.6 lb
This Week: 244.6 lb
Gain: 5.0 lb

And I'm over it.

Especially over it when I gained back five freaking pounds and yet, I'm still PBing at almost every fucking meal.

I can't eat "normal" foods. I can't live on protein shakes.

I'm calling for a serious unfill today. I want it out. Everything I just got and more. 2cc, 3cc, I don't care at this point. I just want to get to a point where I know for sure that I'm not going to be PBing on anything.

And I am going to stay that way for a month. And during that month, I'm not going to weigh in. The weigh ins have just become something I dread, and something that makes me feel like crap. So I'm not going to do them for a while.

This sucks.

4 comments:

Cheri said...

Oh Anna I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I'm angry with you.

I just was looking at the picture of you on your blog from the race and you look so happy and healthy and radiant. I want you feeling like that - confident, healthy, in control, great about what your body can do. I think you are beautiful, inside and out.


Screw the band right now. The tool isn't working right now for whatever reason. I am glad you are going to get the unfill, maybe not with Pokey Lady?? :0(

I wish you fast relief, and healing, and some peace on all levels. I can only imagine how hard it is to function day to day with all that going on.

Chris P said...

I hope the unfill gets you where you need to be Anna. Step back and take a breath. Have you month to recoup and then begin again! Hang in there.

♥ Drazil ♥ said...

I feel so bad for you. Who wouldn't be frustrated?? Hope you get an unfill soon!

Connie O said...

Definitely get the unfill. Then give yourself some breathing room for a nice, slow new start! Not being so stressed will give you a chance to focus on the healthy changes you want to make.

Staying away from the scale sounds like a good idea--but you can't really have gained 5 pounds of actual weight. There has to be some swelling/water retention going on, especially with all the trouble you've been having eating.