Wednesday, May 6, 2009

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..."

Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
("Yesterday" by The (incomperable) Beatles).

Oy vey! Yesterday was rough. I can't even begin to tell you how many food sins I committed -but I'll try. After all, you're stuck with me - the good, the bad, and the ugly. And yesterday was definitely ugly.

The week started out okay - I ate pretty well on Monday, and had a new PR on my 5k Monday night. Tuesday morning, the scale said 247.6. (Pretty please don't tell me not to weigh myself every day. I know I'm not supposed to, but it's my "own personal brand of heroin". You won't get me to stop.) Anyway, 247.6, I was pretty stoked.

The morning started out perfectly - my Crunch Pak of apples and grapes, and V8 Fusion. (Yumm-o.) At 11:30, MFN was in a meeting and I was getting really hungry, so I decided to have my lunch without her. I wanted to get in and use the ONE microwave we have before everyone started warming up their Cinco de Mayo party dishes. So I ate my Bowl Appetite.

This is where my day starts going downhill.

Half an hour later, MFN gets out of her meeting and warily comes to my desk. She needs to get out of the office and commiserate over a Cincinnati staple - Skyline. (p.s. I absolutely love my city, and it's plethora of culinary delights. As long as I have this blog, I will extol their virtues. All of them, that is, except Goetta. The Queen City is on her own with that one.) So, as you will recall, I already ate my lunch, but I had to help a friend in need! Two cheese coneys, a root beer, and a lot of complaining later, I was two lunches down for the day and still had a long way to go.

Remember that Cinco de Mayo party I mentioned earlier? All it took was one person mentioning chips, and I was in there with the quickness. Fritos?! I haven't had Fritos in years...I had to have some of those. Mmmm...salty, water-retention-y goodness, say hello to my belly fat.

And then, The BFF emailed me a special little coupon for a free two-piece grilled chicken meal with two sides and a biscuit from KFC. I had kind of wanted to try their new grilled chicken, and mashed potatoes with gravy, mac 'n cheese and a biscuit certainly sounded good. So guess what I had for dinner? And, p.s., the grilled chicken was absolutely horrible. Seriously dry, and the pieces of meat were much smaller than their normal chicken. If they were trying to get people to try it so that they would return and buy more...they failed. Miserably.

And then, irony of ironies, I enjoyed two (small) brownies that were left over from my Mother's Day dinner, while watching MTV's True Life: I'm On A Diet. That's like eating a whole pizza by yourself while watching The Biggest Loser. Ugh. Low of lows, here I am.

My best guess is that I was probably about 1,200 calories over my goal for the day. That's almost an entire day of calories. This morning, the scale said 249.somethingorother. I couldn't bring myself to pay that close attention once I saw the first 3 numbers.

I just can't freaking believe it was so easy to fall.

On the upside, (The Eternal Optimist strikes again!) I didn't let my self-loathing keep me from getting on the treadmill and doing my second 5k of the week. I had no plans to run, but I wanted to stay at or above 3.1 mph so that I would finish in an hour or less. You know what I realized? Walking on the treadmill is the most boring thing in existence. It takes forEVER! I finally couldn't take it anymore at around 45 minutes and just had to start running as much as I could. Just to get it over with!

I went to bed trying to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day, and I can't take back how today went, but I can do better tomorrow.

As much as I know that, and as much as I try to remind myself of it, I just can't shake that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I failed at yesterday.

"Fall seven times, stand up eight", right?

Well, at least I'm standing...

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