"Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?"

("Loser" by Beck)

Well, technically, I'm not a loser. I'm a gainer. As in, I gained .6 pounds since last week. Bah.

But in another sense, technically, I am a loser, since I'm competing in my company's Biggest Loser Challenge starting today. Would you like to know what kind of humiliation this entailed? Well, I'll tell you, because I'm such a good blogger-friend.

First I had to take part in a fasting health screening, which meant nothing but water for me for at least 9 hours before the tests. The good news? The technician didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. My blood sugar was in the "Diabetic" range, surprise, surprise. My 'bad' cholesteral was a little high, but my good cholesteral was really high, so they kind of cancel each other out. My blood pressure was high (for the first time in my life. ever.) but both the technician and I attribute that to some very bad news I got over the weekend. (A close friend of mine suffered a terrible loss, and I'll leave it at that). But anyway, all in all, my health screening went exactly how I thought it would. I'm overweight, I'm diabetic, I have super good cholesterols.

Now, I know you're all sitting there saying, "well, that's not humiliating, now is it?". Just you wait.

After I finished my health screening, I had to go give my $20 entry fee to The Gatekeeper for TBL Challenge. Basically, this person is responsible for collecting the money, collecting the starting weights (by way of an official weigh-in in her office), and keeping a list of everyone who is participating. This is all fine and dandy, unless The Gatekeeper ends up being your boss.

So today, I walked into my boss' office and gave her $20 to watch me step on a scale and record my weight. Great! Best day at the office I ever had! Not.

It's not really a matter of not trusting her to keep things secret. I know she will. Really, it's just the fact that my boss is one of the skinniest people I have ever met, and whether you like to admit it or not, people have opinions and pre-conceived notions about obese people. I know that she could tell that I'm overweight by looking at me, but it's two different things to see someone and say, oh, I bet they weigh such-and-such, than to actually have proof of how much they weigh. I've never been met with anything other than shock when I have disclosed my actual weight to friends. They NEVER think I look like I actually weigh that much, so I can't even imagine the shock of my super-skinny boss when I stepped on that scale and she got the numbers. I'm wondering how it changed her view of me as a person.

Oh, incase you're wondering, here are the numbers. To cut down on the confusion, we're going to stick with my scale weight for this blog, which was 255.6. The scale in my boss' office said 256.2. Like I said earlier, I'm up .6 pounds. Bah.

So, anyway, TBL starts today. There is a mid-point leader prize of at least $100 which will be given away on April 20th, and then on May 18th the winner will get at least $200 and one vacation day. Just incase you're counting, that makes THREE times I get to be weighed by my boss. If you're having a hard time empathizing (is that a word?) for me, just go ahead, try to imagine walking into your boss' office, stepping on a scale, and then having him or her record your weight for prosperity. Three times. Yeah, thought so.

On an "I'm going to look at this whole thing as positively as possible or else I'll die" note, I'm really glad I'm on the Health and Wellness Committee. Being on the Committee has sort of forced me into the spotlight with the whole thing, because I had to speak at the Friday Pep Rally and I'm the one giving out all the TDP info. Everyone at the company knows I'm a part of it, and they expect me to do it and succeed. I need that motivation to keep me going - there's nothing I dread more than failing infront of a bunch of co-workers. Oh, except being repeatedly weighed by my boss. But I digress.

Part of the HWC's plan is to include on-site exercise classes. Starting this week, we've got a trainer from a local gym coming in, bringing all the necessary accoutrements, and teaching a class. Every Tuesday is Boot Camp, and every Thursday rotates between Pilates, Yoga and Total Body Sculpt for the next 10 weeks. I'm doing both classes this week, and I'm trying to recruit as many people as I can to join me. Although, I'm not really excited about shakin' it and getting all sweaty infront of my co-workers...but there could be more embarrassing things. (Like being repeatedly weighed by my boss...are you getting tired of hearing about that yet? :-))

I'll let you know how the classes go...I'm actually really excited about them because they are so convenient. How can you say no to working out at work? I don't have to drive to the gym, and I've got a great group of awesome friends going with me. I have a feeling it's going to be awesome.

In other news, here's what's going on: The Hubs got his financial aid approved to finish his Computer Network Engineering degree. Yay! He's going through the help of a Job Center, so basically that means they will pay for his schooling if he jumps through a bunch of bureaucratic hoops. Apparently he's a great hoop-jumper, because he finally got approved to start Spring Quarter, which begins March 31st. We sat down together last night and worked out his schedule.

Now, while I fully understand that this in no way compares to My Friend Natalie's (MFN from here on out) husband leaving for a year deployment in Iraq in March, I'm pretty damn depressed. He'll be gone Monday - Thursday from 6:30 am until 10:30 pm. He works until 3:45, and then will go straight to school to do homework and such until his night classes every night.

As if that wasn't bad enough, it's pretty much going to be this way for the next 2 years. You know those hoops? Well, he has to go full-time, every quarter (including Summer) until he's finished, and he must finish all of his degree requirements within two years. Yay, fun. I've lost my husband.

Truthfully, though, I know that this is all for the best. The salary in his degree field is pretty much double to triple what he's making now. He's our only hope to ever getting enough money saved up to get a house and get a life. (Me finishing my degree wouldn't change my job/salary situation any). I'm trying super hard not to be sad about everything, because I know it's hard on him already, and I don't want him to feel bad because I'm unhappy. I am happy that he's finally doing it. I'll be even happier when he gets that damn diploma.

So I guess that's it for now. I've spent most of my day answering questions on TDP, and avoiding the one person in the office whose girlfriend works for Sparkpeople. He has it out for me. LOL.

Such is life.

(and I'm really not thrilled about being repeatedly weighed by my boss. Can you tell?)

Have a great week!