I can't button my pants.

(It's my 200th blog post! Woot! I hope you weren't expecting anything earth shattering to mark the occasion.)

Yes, interwebs, it's true. I wore pants to work today that I am physically unable to button. It's past laundry day, so I'm literally down to the 'slim' pickins. They are size 22 camel colored slacks.

Size 22.

TWENTY-TWO!

Apparently, size 22 is 'slim' in my world now. I am, quite literally, too big for my britches. When did that happen? How did that happen? Rhetorical questions, of course, because I know exactly when and how, but I like to pretend that I don't.

Anyway, I bought several pair of capris before our recent visit to South Carolina, and most of those were 24s. Except for one pair. In one pair, I had to buy the biggest number I've ever bought. I *shudder* thinking about it.

I bought a 26.

(Which is not to say that anyone wearing a 26 or higher should feel horrible about herself. It is just to say that I, personally, have never had to reach that number, and it was a big deal to me.)

I know that stores size things all wonkey and that an 18 in one store could be a 22 in another, but no matter how off the sizing is, I don't have to be a genius to know that a 22, 24, 26 is too big for me. I wish I could say that I don't get caught up in numbers, but when the numbers keep going up, you HAVE to get caught up in them or else they'll just keep going that way.

I vow to never have to buy a 26 (or higher) again.

Soon, I'll share a picture of Mount Pantsuvius, the mile-high stack of jeans and slacks that I'm saving because I refuse to give up hope that I'll be able to fit back into them one day. I just can't bring myself to give up the dream and donate them to Goodwill. When I get home, I'll have one more pair to add to the top. But one day...

One day, Mount Pantsuvius will be conquered and replaced. Goodwill will get my pants, and they'll get them because I can't fit into them. Not because I'm too big, but because they're too big, and no buttoning in the world would ever make them fit.