Fuck off, diabetes.

I now feel "officially" like a high-risk pregnancy. They've decided to put me on insulin, in addition to the Metformin I already take.

3 insulin shots a day, 2 different types of insulin, 1 very freaked out momma-to-be.

It's gonna be a very long 34 more weeks.

No 5k's for me this year...

I'm pregnant! (Oopsie! lol)

We weren't going to start trying until June, but apparently you can't trust Ovulation Predictor Kits. Oh well, I'm totally thrilled and scared to death, and The Hubs is...well...adjusting.

We're due on Christmas Day!

PS - If you're my friend on Facebook, please don't mention anything until after I do - a lot of family and friends are on FB that won't know until after Mother's Day! Thanks!

The time has finally come!

Remember this?

Well, look at it now...

MFN's Hubby is in the United States after a year in Iraq. He actually comes home home on a plane tonight. I am so excited that she gets to have her husband back, and so grateful for his sacrifice!

Like money in the (virtual) pocket...

So, I'm generally not lucky. At all.

But a couple of weeks ago, that changed just a little bit, yay me! I got an email saying that I had been randomly chosen as a winner because I had signed up to be on the Consumer Panel for Kroger. Woot!

What did I win, you ask?

$100, deposited to my very own Paypal account.

Now, here's where I need your help, dear friends. What, oh what, should I spend my not-so-hard-earned money on? Help!

Do you see what I see?

Sweat makes you beautiful. End of story.

Just for today...(UPDATE)

I will eat all meals in-house. check - that was hard, considering the cash in my pocket just begging to be spent at a fast food restaurant.

I will eat healthier meals. mostly check. some processed foods, but counted calories and had more servings of fruits and veggies in one day than I usually get in a week, or month, sometimes.

I will cut down on snacks. mostly check. still had cashews and jelly beans (my current snacks of choice) but instead of eating directly out of the container, I poured out servings of each and didn't return for more.

I will move my ass. check - the weather was great, so after dinner, I went out for a brisk walk around our neighborhood. Did 3 loops, about 45 minutes worth, and I'm guessing 2.5-3 miles.

Just today. I'll give myself a B+.

Just for today...

I will eat all meals in-house.

I will eat healthier meals. 

I will cut down on snacks.

I will move my ass.

Just today.

Found it!

Remember back when I started this blog? Remember when I was gung ho about losing weight? Remember when I actually lost some of it?!

Found it!

Whether it is because of that evil Actos causing my extreme hunger, the fatigue that comes with being fat and/or lazy, or something completely different, who knows? All I know is that I now weigh 263.0 pounds. Which means that since my doctor's visit on 3/1, I have gained more than 10 pounds. In a little over a month.

Ten Pounds.

In a month.

Yep. It deserves to be bolded and italicized. It's beyond ridiculous. While part of me knows that at least some of the weight gain is caused by the medication and therefore (slightly) beyond my control, the rest of me knows that I still make the choice to shove the food in my mouth. I still chose to sit on my ass. So, therefore, I have no one to blame but myself.

However, (da dada daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) The Eternal Optimist strikes again! I have a few things going in my favor as of late.

1) I am seriously out of time to lose weight before we try to get pregnant, which means NO. MORE. PROCRASTINATING!

2) I am self-medicating. Or, rather, self-un-medicating as the case may be, and declaring war on Actos. (Conspiracy theory rant coming, be warned...)

Here's my thought on the subject: Actos is a drug that helps to control your diabetes by making your cells less insulin resistant. However, one of the widespread side effects of actos is extreme hunger and weight gain. (See above.) Therefore, my hypothesis is that the drug is only produced as a money-making machine (hello, $140/month!) that helps to control the symptoms, but perpetuates the disease. The more weight you gain, the longer - and worse - your diabetes will be, thus needing the prescription for longer/higher doses.

It is not a long-term solution to my diabetes problem, and I see it as a waste of money. With my current insurance plan (if you can call it that), I pay out of pocket for the first $6000 of my health care/prescriptions per year. $6000. Straight from my paycheck to the doctor/pharmacy/pharmaceutical company. I'm not going to pay $140 a month for a prescription that, in effect, forces me to become addicted to it.

So, yeah, suffice it to say that I'm not taking the Actos anymore. End rant.

3) My company started The Biggest Loser competition again! This year, it's in teams, which I find to be a nice method of accountability. Who wants to be known for dragging down their co-workers? Not I, said the fly.

I paid my $25 (more accountability!), and weighed in Friday during our company health screening. (Which, btw, I was forced to do if I didn't want to spend $600 more on my health insurance premiums, but that's another story). My health screening didn't tell me anything I didn't already know: OBESE! DIABETIC! SLIGHTLY PRE-HYPERTENSIVE, BUT REALLY GREAT CHOLESTEROL! At least it didn't get any worse, but it didn't get any better, fo' sho'. Ugh.

Anyway, this morning, I found out who my teammates are - an older (incredibly lovely) lady and a bodybuilder. No shit. This guy who started building muscle last year and just never stopped. And I ask you, why is he doing TBL? Why is he on my team? But, hey, maybe he's exactly what I need. We shall see.

4) My full-circle 5k is coming up! June 6th, I'll run the 5k that started it all - the very first 5k I ever "ran". I completed it in 47:37 last year, and I haven't yet decided what my goal should be this year. Should I make a time goal, or a distance running goal? Either way, I know that I want to finish faster and run more than I did last year. 
__________

And, I guess that's all for now. A rare weight-related post on my weight loss blog, imagine that! Hopefully I'll have more good stuff to report in the future. Stick with me, k? :-)

A bad idea.

I'm angry, and I shouldn't post when I'm angry. But I am, so there.

I love living in the USA. There are only a small handful of other countries in this world that I would even consider moving to. I appreciate the freedoms that I have. I appreciate the fact that I can (theoretically) be whatever I want to be when I grow up. I appreciate the fact that I am a woman with the right to vote. Other women before me fought long and hard for that, and I love them for it.

This is not to say that this country does not have issues. We've got a TON of issues. I get that too. Some of those issues are caused or made worse by people not in my political party, and some of them are caused or made worse by my own "people". Some things are caused or made worse just because in a country of 300,000,000, you're bound to have some crazies in the bunch.

I voted for Barack Obama. I stand behind that vote. Say or think what you will, but I'm absolutely, 100%, no-doubt-about-it proud of that and have no qualms about whether or not I did the right thing for myself and the country as a whole.

Having said that, I have to admit that I did not foresee that hiring him into this position would cause such scary division and pure, unadulterated hatred and just plain meanness in our country.

I identify with the "liberal" side of the spectrum, but that does not mean that you can fit me into every little peg on the "Liberal" board. I don't see why you need to try to, either.

Why does everything that Obama does have to mean the end of the world as we know it? Why can't people just take a step back and look objectively at things? Why is everyone so up-in-arms about every little thing? We aren't becoming a Socialist country. We will not be Communists. And far be it for someone to finally step in and try to give our own country the kind of healthcare that we spend so much money and effort trying to provide for third world countries.

All this completely random post is trying to say is: can't we all just get along? I'm sick of it.