TTT (Around The World Edition)

Oh, dear pregnant and beautiful Laura Belle, what would we do without you and your Ten Things Thursday? The wonderful time in bloggy mcbloggerton land where I get to drone on about randomness and still feel accomplished. (Oh, wait. That's pretty much every time I post.) But I digress...

Uno: What does "prime the band" mean? I have heard some people say that drinking a certain amount of water before you eat "primes the band". What is that exactly? Just something I've wondered for a while.

Deux: Thank you all for the kind comments and responses to yesterday's post. Often times, we are our own harshest critics, and it is so wonderful to have you all here to remind me that I don't have to be so darn mean to myself all the time! Plus, y'all had some great tips on organizing and getting stuff done which I'll be trying to implement in the near future.

Three: Do you know the blog Young House Love? On a post yesterday, they linked to a company called A Vintage Poster, wherein I found this gem which was so apropos to my Whiny Wednesday post. I just need to pick a place to start and get to gettin' rather than feel so paralyzed by everything.

Vier: I'm running out of languages, gonna have to start googling soon. Did you even notice? :)

Fimm: School continues to stress me out. It just doesn't seem possible that I will be able to complete all my assignments, turn them in, and have them graded (which takes 3-5 days for each) by the 31st. Darn me and that procrastination monster.

Sex: (Well, Latin, you saucy minx...) I'm not having any. (badum ching!)

Sette: I have been obsessed with Olive Garden lately. I wish I were kidding when I tell you that I have had it four times in the past seven days. Cheese ravioli rocks my socks.

Juróom ñett: I once worked with a guy from Senegal. His native language was Wolof, which is just fun to say. (Pronounced "WOHL-ahv"). He was also fluent in French and English. He got very offended if he called your name and you answered with "What?" In his strong Wolofian/French accent, he would say, "Don't say what to me. It is rude." I am reminded of him several times a week when Logan calls for me and I say, "What?" 

Nau: The Bloggess is coming to Dayton next Tuesday for a book signing. I'm going with a friend from high school. Although, I bought the electronic version of her book, so short of having her sign my Kindle, I think I'm going to have to shell out more moolah for a book I already own. Blah to that. 

Tō: I work for a regional group of retail furniture stores. Many times in the almost-two-years I've worked here, I've had friends or family ask about getting my (pretty decent) discount. I'm too chicken to do it for them because I don't really know how the process works and I'm afraid I'll get caught. Wimpy McWimperton, right here, buddy. Not sure why that popped into my head as a TTT, but thereyougo.

Blogger challenge: List all 10 languages in the comments! I gave you lots of hints...

Wednesday Weigh-In

Last Week: 247.8
This Week: 247.8
No change

And I'm all, "eh, whatever" about that right now. It's not a gain, and it would have been nice to see the numbers I was seeing on Monday after a weekend of being so sick that I didn't eat anything for almost 48 hours. But that is the chance you take with being a daily weigher, and I also knew that once I was feeling better and started eating again, some of that weight would come back. It is what it is - I have too many other things on my mind right now to be disappointed in a wash week.

Would you like to step inside my head? Draz did something similar recently, and I found it fascinating. But really, I just have way too much crap going on and can't focus on any one thing, so I'm gonna write them all down to try to make sense of them. Here's the shit storm that is my mind, in no particular order:

1. Work. I'm not particularly happy in my job and I also don't work as hard as I could. Guilt plus general apathy does not equal the most productive Anna, which creates more guilt. Also, February has been and will continue to be a whirlwind of training events that I just don't have the energy to organize and host. 
2. School. I have seriously hit zero hour with school. My term ends on March 31st, but I have to have all of my "tasks" (19 - yes, you read that right, 19 - papers and one science experiment) finished about a week before that to give them time to get graded. How many of my 19 papers and one science experiment do I have finished? Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. None. And it's all my fault. 
3. Moving. I haven't really talked about this at all because I have a really hard time forming words around it. After MANY protests and tears, I have finally agreed for our family to move in with my husband's parents. For an unspecified amount of time, but probably at least a year. There is so much emotion surrounding this for me that I could probably write a year's worth of blog posts about it. I'm grateful that they're willing to take us in, but apprehensive and anxious about the change. Suffice it to say, I just don't want to do it.
4. Moving Logistics. In addition to the fact that moving in with my in-laws is not high up on my bucket list, there is A LOT  of work that has to be done in order for it to be possible. All by April 30th. The in-laws and The Hubs have to strip out a storage area down to the bare insulation and completely renovate the room. They have to add heat to one side of the house. They have to run wiring for internet. They have to go through three large rooms of accumulated gark and sort/store it all. Then we have to pack up our entire apartment and either move it to what storage area they have left or to a storage unit. I am paralyzed by the weight of it all and can't really see how it is all going to work out right now. 
5. Valentine's Day. Probably the least of my worries right now, but something that keeps nagging my brain like a gnat on speed. I completely forgot about the holiday until I started hearing all the commercials on the radio. And now it's the day before and I will have to brave the Hallmark store with all the last-minute husbands. 
6. Over-Estimating Time Constraints. Again. Sometime in January, I decided to make a gift for a person who may or may not currently be reading this blog. The time to deliver the gift is rapidly approaching and said gift is nowhere near complete. I had time, then I still had time, and now I have no time. I have been stressed out about it and working on it like a mad woman every day at lunch and after work. Mom guilt is killing me right now because my eyes are plastered on this project all night instead of on my kid. The Hubs has been super helpful, though, with trying to keep Logan Man occupied so I can make some progress. As of right now, I believe I will be able to finish it in time, but it is going to be very close. Probably something like crocheting the last of the Christmas dish cloths at 3 am Christmas morning. Something like that. 
7. A Rapidly Approaching 5k. It's coming and I'm not ready for it. I have been so lazy/preoccupied with other things that I haven't given much time or thought to training. I am sad to say that I haven't been back to the fitness center since those two days in a row sometime back in January. I need to suck it up and take five minutes at night to put my lunch and workout clothes together so that I can get some training done. However, if I train during lunch, I can't work on my gift project during lunch. So right now, because the gift deadline is much closer than the 5k deadline, gift is winning. 
8. Crappy Sleep and Vivid Dreams. I haven't been sleeping well lately, and it seems like when I finally get to sleep, all I'm doing is having very vivid dreams about things that I don't want to think about. So even when I'm sleeping, I'm stressed out. I am exhausted and feel like I just can't win. 

I can't think of anything else right now, but this almost qualified for a Ten Things Thursday...maybe I should have saved it for tomorrow. Oh well. It's here now, so it stays. 

This is just one of those oh so joyous times in life where it just seems like everything is being piled on top of me so fast that I can't dig out and can't breathe. I know that it will all work out, and I keep trying to remind myself that once the gift is finished, I can work on the school and the 5k. And once The Hubs' parents get rooms cleared out, I can start packing and moving our crap ton of stuff. And once May 1st comes around, everything on that list except for work and my crazy dreams will have come and gone. Nothing is permanent. These things are temporary. 

It's all temporary. Right?

Wednesday Weigh-In and an Embarrassing Story

Two Weeks Ago: 249.6 lb (I forgot to weigh in last week, oops!)
This Week: 247.8 lb
Loss: 1.8 lb

Inching closer and closer to new territory! Can't wait to get around 245 and start hitting new weight loss ground. My total loss now from my highest weight is 33.2 pounds down, and I'm exactly 16 pounds down from my pre-op diet weight. Wooty doo! It's been a slow, but sure, process.

And I know you really clicked on the link to hear my embarrassing story, didn't you? Don't lie...

So, I'm adjusting to my recent fill, plus it's TOM, and I think that's all adding up to me being REALLY tight. I've been getting stuck a lot and PBed a couple times since Saturday. This morning, I was heading to one of our stores to do some training, and stopped at a drive thru to get some breakfast. I made sure to park and eat so I wasn't rushed. I took small bites. I chew, chew, chewed. And I thought I was okay. A little uncomfortable in the chest, but I thought I was going to be fine. Plus, I needed to get on the road since I was about 30 miles away from the store.

I got on the highway and all of a sudden, the pressure in my chest started to get worse. And worse. And worse. And of course, I was on a stretch without any exits or rest areas. And this whole time, I'm thinking, "Please don't throw up. Please don't throw up. Please just go down. OH MY GOD, GO DOWN!!!"

All of a sudden, I knew that there was no alternative. I was just going to have to stop on the side of a VERY busy, VERY major highway, and get out. Even if I just walked around, maybe that would help a little bit. So I pulled over, put my flashers on, and got out. No sooner had I gotten to the grass, when up it all came. Slime and all. In plain view of many, many passing cars and semis.

Oh how I wish I had someone there to hold my hair and keep it from flying back in my face as I PBed. And also, puking into the wind = not fun. Just so you know. I don't recommend it.

And of course, after all was said and done, I had no choice but to get back into my car, get to the store, and train a bunch of new associates like nothing had happened.

This morning was a bad morning. Bad, bad morning.

A (Very Literal) Scale Victory

We weight loss bloggers tend to write a lot about Non-Scale Victories (NSVs), and save our Literal Scale Victories for weigh in days. Nuh-uh. Not today, sistas. I have a very literal scale victory and I'm going to share it with you. And it's not even a Wednesday weigh-in day.

Okay, so I've droned on and on about the company fitness center, and the classes, and the trainer, and blah blah blah. It's all good stuff - great for general health and well being.

But there's also a more sinister component to that room...

Cue mystery music here...dun dun duuuuuun! 

(Oh, and in this picture, you can also see the comfy couch that I use when I'm crocheting during my lunch breaks. LOL)

Anyway, that damn doctor's scale. It has not been my friend. Every day that I weigh, it usually weighs me in about 2-3 pounds heavier than my scale at home. And, unfortunately, with that scale being in a public place, and at work, I can't exactly weigh in in the buff, like I usually do. So I know that a portion of the weight difference is in the clothes I'm wearing.

But still, it's a big, fat bummer to weigh in under 250 at home and then come in to work and weigh more than that every day. I have been patiently waiting for the day that I was far enough away from 250 at home to literally tip the scales under 250 at work.

And TODAY WAS THAT DAY, kids.

Today was the day when I stepped on that scale, fully clothed, and pushed the big 50 pound weight over...50...100...150...200...250. Then I moved that little single pound weight thingy allllll the way over to zero, and bonk. Too heavy!

So I slid that happy little 50 pound weight back to 200, and slid the single pound weight thingy almost allllll the way over in the other direction, and blahdow! I'm under 250 fully clothed on a "real" scale. Holy shitballs. (Pardon my French.)

For some reason, it is so much huger (it's a word now) to weigh in under 250 on this scale than it is on my digital guy at home. I think it's the tactile-ness (again, a word) of it. The fact that you physically have to move the weights over to balance the scale. And the fact that ever since I first set foot on that damn thing, I have automatically slid it all the way over to 250, then even farther up the small scale. So moving that 50 pound weight back to the left about an inch just feels so enormous to me.

Peace out, 250s. Don't expect a postcard, because I will NOT be missing you. Oh, and tell your friend 240 that I'm coming for a visit soon!

How YOU Doin'?

We're almost two full weeks into 2013 now, so I figured it's a good time to check up on my 2013 Commitments. If you'll remember, I came up with a list of six "commitments" (not "resolutions", patooey!) in this post. Here's how they're shaping up so far:

1. Fills every two weeks until "sweet spot": Even though I've had a couple stuck episodes since my last fill, I still don't think I'm where I need to be. I can still eat MUCH more than I'm comfortable with, and the weight has been just kind of hovering since then. I do think I need another fill, and I would totally go in this Saturday, but they're booked up. Boo! I can't go during the week because I have no vacation/sick time until the end of April, and they don't have late hours. And now they're telling me they're not open every weekend anymore, but only "certain" weekends during the month. So I have to get with them and find the next available weekend that I can go in for a fill. Blargh. 
2. Bringing my lunch to work: I'm actually doing pretty well with this. I brought a couple times the first week, twice last week, and I packed today. With Commitments number 4 and 5, I am going to have to bring my lunch more because I won't have time to actually take a lunch at work. More on this below. 
3. At least one 5k: In progress! I signed up for the Shamrock Shuffle on March 9th (my 31st birthday, by the way. Gifts accepted.) Knowing that a 5k is paid for and looming over my head means that I actually need to prepare for it a little bit so that I'm not COMPLETELY miserable the whole time. See below. 
4. Moving more/acknowledging work fitness center: See above. I've had a slight hiccup on this one, since I seem to have shaken my booty a tad too hard on Just Dance 4, and found my way into a herniated disk flare-up. I am noticing that the flare up isn't as bad as it had been when I was 30 pounds heavier, but it's still no fun. So I'm babying things for now, but The Hubs and I did take Bubbers on a 30 minute walk over the weekend, and I brought clothes/shoes/etc. to get some treadmill time in at the fitness center today in preparation for my upcoming birthday 5k. Lookie there, all prepared and shit. 
5. Following the bandster rules: My fill has really forced me to comply with several of the rules - eating slowly, taking small bites, and chew chew chewing. I find that I'm sure to get stuck if I bite into something rather than cut it up and use a fork to eat it. I guess I just can't gauge a "small" bite by actually biting into it. I'm still having difficulties with no drinking while eating. One, because I hate the gross feeling of food in my mouth, and two, because I'm trying really hard to get water in, and find it difficult to do if I have to "lose" a few hours of prime drinking time because of eating. It's all new to me and I'm still working it all out. 
6. Focusing more on school: Excuse me while I hide in a corner. I have until the end of March before this term is over and I haven't. accomplished. anything. GAH! I'm stuck in this math class and I can't get past it. And it just makes me frustrated so that I don't even want to acknowledge its existence. But I have to get my butt in gear if I ever want to move forward and away from my current job. Blargh.  

All in all, I think I'm doing pretty well for two weeks in. This week starts my 5k prep, and even though my back is one unhappy little camper, I'm still going to try to get in there and get a t5k (treadmill 5k) done 3-4 days this week. I guess we'll see how it goes today, but I'm hoping it will actually HELP my back instead of hurt it more. 

Did you make any commitments or resolutions? If so, have you checked your progress? How is it going? 

TTT

Thanks, Laura Belle, for the wonderful-ness that is Ten Things Thursday. Wherein I get to take the lazy way out and still feel like a good blogger.

 1) Work is nutso. Part of my hodge podge of a job description involves recording training videos. I spent the last two full days recording. And I mean, literally, videotaping seminars from 8 am to 5:30 pm. It is exhausting and no fun.

 2) Speaking of work, I got "spoken to" today about the fact that I come in between 5 to 20 minutes late every day. Bummer.

 3) My work to do list is re-donk. Just shoot me now.

 4) No stuck episodes since Tuesday's lunch! Huzzah! And thanks for the comments on the last post. I am in agreement with y'all. No unfill for this lady. Just a whole bunch of slow down and small bites for me! Seems to be working now.

 5) My spaz of a 2-year-old has decided that any time between 3:45 and 6:30 am is a great time for a crib party. Seriously. All week long, he has woken up between these hours and has a grand old time carrying on a conversation with himself. It wouldn't be such a big deal if his head and my head weren't separated by about 4 inches of paper-thin wall.

 6) I have an official goal to weigh in at 231 by my March 9th birthday. It's a slightly crazy goal that would require me losing more than two pounds a week, but I really think that with my new-found restriction and upping the exercise ante (which I haven't done yet, oops!) I might be able to do it. Or at least get super close. If you will recall, my highest NPR (non-pregnant recorded) weight was 281, in March of last year. If, by my birthday, I get to 231, it will be 50 pounds down in a year. Which would be total awesomesauce, if you ask me.

 7) I had to change the comment settings for my blog because I am getting SO MANY spam comments! It is so frustrating! Hopefully, the change that I made (allowing only registered users to comment) will stop the stupid spammers, but not be as frustrating to y'all as if I had turned on word verification. I really HATE word verification, and it's the last option for me as far as this goes. So let me know if you have issues commenting, please!

 8) The Hubs and I are going to see "Shrek: The Musical" on the 18th. I'm super excited for this because {1} It's Shrek! and {2} The Hubs actually agreed to go to the theater with me, which is like a "hell froze over" kind of event!

 9) I know I've said this recently, but the whole learning how to follow bandster rules thing? It's hard. But I'm kind of glad that I had two stuck episodes, because I'm so much more careful now about chewing and small bites-ing since I know that pain. And me no-likey the pain.

10) Biggest news of all: I done gone and did it. I signed up for my first 5k of 2013!!! On my birthday, no less! So even though it will definitely be cold, and there's the possibility that there will be snow - believe me, we've had blizzards on my birthday weekend in March before - I will be at the Shamrock Shuffle, shufflin' my 5k worth of buns off. And it's already paid for and everything. So I have to do it now! I've got about 8 weeks to get my butt in gear, so we definitely need to come up with a plan up in here. But I'm super excited to get back into running, and to have a goal to work toward. Woo! 

A Fill is a Wonderful Thing

Last Week: 252.6 lb
This Week: 250.0 lb
Loss: 2.6 lb

Two point six el-bees, y'all! So excited! And finally realizing what it's like to have the band. Up until this last fill, there wasn't much of anything going on in there, so I began to wonder if it really was going to do what everyone says it would do.

Um, yeah. It will.

Getting such a large fill might not have been the BEST idea in the world, because I have had a few bumps in the road. It was like I went from nothing to EVERYTHING overnight, so I had to learn to REALLY follow the bandster rules. And it has been a serious adjustment.

I got stuck.

Twice.

So far.

I can't eat as absentmindedly as I have been able to since surgery. That was proven to me on Monday night, when I sat down to eat next to my two year old. While trying to make sure he doesn't eat nothing but ketchup, or knock the tv tray over, or steal food off of my plate, I just started scarfing things down. Oh, bad idea.

Sthuck! Stuck! Stuuuuuck!

So I had to get up, let The Hubs finish with Logan, and pace around my bathroom for about 20 minutes. I wiggled and lifted my arms above my head, and stretched, and paced, and panicked and sweated. But I never PB'ed.

Then yesterday, we had lunch provided by our company. I don't know if it was the fact that it was fried chicken, or that I was at a table full of associates and we were talking and scarfing food down, and laughing, etc. Either way, it was Stuck City again. And this time it was PAINFUL. I was praying to PB this time, and spent about 45 minutes pacing, stretching, and staking out a bathroom stall. Still never PB'ed, and eventually everything worked its way through.

Last night, I concentrated hard on paying attention. I had some homemade chili with cheese and oyster crackers. I used one of Bubbers' small spoons. I took my time. I ate small bites. I chewed like my life depended on it. And I didn't get stuck.

This morning, same thing. I got a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from Tim Hortons. Took off the biscuit and cut the sausage, egg and cheese into tiny bites. Slowed down. Paid attention. And I didn't get stuck.

I'm still on the fence as to whether I'm truly too tight, or whether I can still eat normal foods as long as I just make myself pay attention. I have to decide by Friday if I want an unfill, because it will be free until then, or $75 after.

What say you, smart banded bloggers? If it were you, would you unfill a bit? Or stay here? I gotta say, I'm loving the weight loss portion of this whole predicament! Decisions, decisions...

New Year, New Choices...and a Wednesday Weigh In

Last Week: 254.2
This Week: 252.6
Loss: 1.6 lb

Well, Happy New Year to me! I wasn't expecting a good number today, what with all the holiday mumbo jumbo going on. 1.6 pounds is awesome, and I'm super happy with it. I finally hit my first mini goal of 10 pounds down since starting the pre-surgery diet. (Which would have been at 253.8, so I kind of just blew through that one!) But I didn't quite make it to my goal of losing 30 pounds in my 30th year - just 28.4.

Wait.

Just 28.4? JUST TWENTY EIGHT FRACKING POUNDS?! Anna! Get your head out of your ass! You lost more than 28 pounds last year! That is amazing! And way better than gaining weight every. single. year. of your life like you HAD been doing.

(Okay, okay, voices in my head...28.4 pounds is A LOT and I'm freaking awesome. Better?)

Ahem...anyway...

And so, for the first time I can literally ever remember, I'm starting this year weighing significantly less than the last. And it feels awesome. And I can't wait to see what is to come. Here are my commitments for 2013:

• I have a fill on Saturday, and I'm committing to fills every two weeks until I get to where I need to be. No more wasting this tool (and my money!)
• I'm committing to bringing my lunch more to work. I'm not going to say a specific number of times or anything, but that I will bring it more. Which shouldn't be hard, because I can probably count on both hands the number of times I brought lunch to work last year. 
• I'm committing to at least one 5k. Even if I have to train and run it by myself, I'm doing one. 
• I'm committing to moving more. My Mom bought me Just Dance 4 for the Wii, and I've busted a few moves and busted out some sweat, so that will be one of my options. As a tiny little side commitment attached to this one, I'm committing to stop ignoring the fact that my workplace has a fitness center that I walk right past several times a day.
• I'm committing to following the bandster rules. Even the ones I hate. *cough*Nodrinkingwhileeating*cough*
• I'm committing to focusing more on school. Gotta get that done in order to leave my crappy current job. 

My favorite commitment this year is that I'm committing to have more fun. Because as Ferris Bueller said,

 "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it."

BYOC

It's Friday! I guess you know what that means...

BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy….5 little questions we ask to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!

1. If you have a camera and have the time – take the contents of your purse out – and take a picture of said contents and explain them. If you don’t have time or a camera – please describe the contents of your purse.

I usually keep my purse pretty empty, much to the delight of my MIL. There's little in life that she likes more than to feed her superiority complex when I don't have something completely random in my purse that no normal person could ever foresee needing, and yet, somehow, we need. What ever it is, she's got it. It's like Mary Freakin' Poppins in there. Need a coat rack? I'm pretty sure she'd have it in her purse just incase you need it and her daughter-in-law didn't come prepared for just such an occasion. 

But I digress. 

In my purse currently, there is:

• a pink wallet (with a debit card sticking out)
• my phone (had I not used it to take the picture)
• loose change
• 8 used fake fingernails (don't ask)
• my keys
• a leopard print pair of tweezers in a plastic tube
• 4 hair ties
• 3 earrings (one and a half sets, lol)
• a bobby pin
• a tiny plastic baby from a Mardi Gras King Cake 3 years ago (which I put in my purse when I left my old job and have forgotten to take out)  
• two pens
• miscellaneous receipts
• a bottle of this
• business cards
• a container of Sensa
• a notepad that I got from St. Jude Children's Research Center

Random. And note the complete lack of essentials like tissues, medicines, bandaids, Tide to Go, etc. that my MIL likes to remind me I don't have. What can I say, lady? I like to live on the edge. Neener neener with my tongue stuck out.

2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing if you have a relationship with this person or if the person even exists and you try to describe the person in 5 words or short sentences. Your kindergarten teacher.

Seriously, how do you remember that person?! I have no recolection of kindergarden, except for making way too many art projects out of uncooked macaroni (some of which still get hung on my mama's Christmas tree, thankyouverymuch).

I'm sure my kindergarden teacher was a very nice person.

3. What’s your favorite guilty pleasure / trashy TV show you like to watch?

Much to my chagrin, I do not have cable. However, I do enjoy trashy reality shows. I loved "Love In The Wild", and still love The Amazing Race, even though I wouldn't really consider it trashy. I heart pretty much any reality show you'd find on TLC, plus any of the documentaries on addicts, prisoners, and serial killers.

What does that say about me? Eeek.

4. A lot of you told me about your first day of school experiences when I posted about how my 5 year old going to kindergarten wasn’t causing me too much heartache. So now I’m officially asking – tell me about one of your first day of school experiences that sticks out in your mind the most. Who put you on the bus? Did you ride the bus? Did your parents take pics? Did they walk you into school? Drive you there? Cook you breakfast?

I can't remember any of my personal first days of school and I haven't had the pleasure(?) of sending Bubbers off yet. I'm sure it will be filled with pictures and tears.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

In real life, I made the decision to get banded, which I posted in blog life here. I'm also going through a work/life/husband crisis where I just can't be happy with anything in any situation. (It's a fun time over here in BatShitCrazyLand, won't you join me? My husband sure would appreciate it.) I'm looking forward to the 3 day weekend, and to starting it a little early - I'm leaving work at 12:30 to go pick up Bubbers and take him to his 8 month check-up. Yay!

In blog life, we finished the remodel! Yay! Thanks, Tricia! For some reason, the post fonts aren't working on IE9, but I think she's working on that. I've been catching up on banded bloggers' stories, usually starting from the beginning of their blogs or band journeys. It takes a lot of time, but the information is incredibly helpful. I hope that my blog will be a source of information for possible bandsters one day, too. And also, in Blogland, I'm growing insanely jealous of those BOOBs who are going to Chicago. Hopefully I'll be an attendee in 2012, ladies, so save some fun for me!

Guess that's it, lovelies. Have a wonderful 3 day weekend if you get one!

"Every day I'm shufflin'..."

("Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO)

I'm sending out the warning right now that this will probably ramble and not make much sense and cover a bunch of random topics. Consider yourselves forewarned.

~Blog~
My lovely blog re-design is thisclose to being finished. PayPal actually pulled through and sent the correct amount of money to Miss Tricia. She sent me a sample yesterday and she's just making a few minor tweaks to the design. I think it will be up and at 'em in the next day or so, and I can't wait! Now, once it's up and purty, all I have to do is force myself to update it on a regular basis. I haven't really updated because I have been absolutely sucktastic on the diet front. Which segues nicely into...

~Diet~
I thought for sure that when I stepped on the scale today it would read 280 pounds or more. How sad is it that I was pleasantly surprised at 275.8? Seriously, girl, get your shit together. I almost weigh what I weighed when I was pregnant. And ten pounds of that weight was actual baby! Two-hundred seventy-six pounds.

It's flicking ridiculous. I never expected to weigh this much in my life. Even when I was at 250, I never thought I'd hit a weight as high as this. And here it is in all it's glory disgustingness. (It's a word. I made it one.)

The BFF, yours truly, and Tonja at Jimmy Buffett Tuesday night.

Do you see that freaking monster truck tire around my midsection?! Wanna know the worst part about that? I'm wearing Spanx. It's being sucked in. For serious.

I have more to say on the whole fatness issue, but I think that's better left for another blog post.

~Job~

I wish I didn't have one. I like my job on most days, but I am feeling lately like it's pointless. The Hubs is in between jobs right now and "gets" to stay at home with Bubbers all day. I can't help but feel like that should be me. Selfishly I want to be the one who doesn't have to get up at 6 am. I want to be the one who doesn't have to deal with office bureaucracies. I want to be the one who could wear sweats all day if I chose to. But most importantly, I want to be the one who gets to spend time with our son. I want to feed him and dress him and take him fun places, and teach him things all day, and watch him play. I want to get to see him for more than 2 waking hours every night. But it's just not in the cards, I guess.

My dream is that The Hubs will land his dream job, making enough money that I can quit mine and be a SAHM. People do it, somehow, they make it work, and they can't all be top executives at big companies making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I want that to be me!

(Whine over, I promise.)

~Life~

As you can see from the picture above, The BFF, Tonja and I went to see Jimmy Buffett Tuesday night. We try to go every year, but I didn't go last year because I was pregnant and the weather had been pretty bad prior to the show. This year's concert was fun - I took the day after off work so that I could drink and not have to worry about the hour long drive from the concert venue back to my house. (Which is a good thing, because I probably wouldn't have gotten home until 1 am!)

Bubber Man sprouted a third tooth, on the top right side of his mouth. He looks like a jack-o-lantern now, which makes me giggle.

The rest of life is normal. Nothing major going on. I'm sorry for the long and rambling post, but that's what you get sometimes.

How about ending this post with a picture of Bubs to make it up to you?

Keepin' it classy.

Oy to the vey.

Hey y'all. I'm alive. I'm here.

I'm exhausted.

The traveling portions of my trip can only be classified as a clusterf*ck. My second flight home was delayed twice. I got home late Tuesday and worked all day Wednesday, then for some reason Bubbers decided that last night would be the night he turned into an insomniac. He finally went to bed after 2 am.

I took a personal day today, and I'm going to use the opportunity to get him to his (very past due) 6 month well check visit.

At any rate, this is a post about nothing, except to say that I'm here, I haven't forgotten about you, and I'll be back as soon as my brain can formulate complete sentences without strenuous effort.

Oh! And I would be remiss if I didn't send a birthday shout out to The BFF!!! Happy 29th birthday!!!

Love, my lovelies.

A Special Treat...

You get my Monday Weigh-In a day early!

I know, I know, you're sitting there wondering how in the world you got so lucky. Well, you can thank my job. I'm currently sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to Atlanta, and then finally to Ft. Lauderdale, where I will be spending two days gathering ideas for our LMS/intranet at a sister company. At any rate, there will not be a reliable scale in my hotel room on Monday morning, so I figured I'd weigh in today so as not to miss it.

Last week, 273.6. This week...

(Drumroll, please)

270.8

2.8 pounds! Yay! And it's a really short week, too, since I weighed in on Tuesday and it's now Sunday. I peeked at the scale yesterday and saw a glimmer of hope that I would weigh in under 270, but alas, it didn't happen. That's okay, though, because I'm stoked with 2.8 pounds!

What have I done differently this week?

Well, since my plane's about to board, I guess you'll have to wait to find out. :)

I'm going off the rails on a crazy train...

(Crazy Train, Ozzy Ozbourne)

I recently discovered a lovely group of lady bloggers, and I'm totally jumping onboard their Crazy Train! Drazil is the conductor of this "loco"-motive, so let's get to chuggin...

In Drazil's world, Fridays are BYOC days. Here's her explanation...

"It’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy…a couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!"

"Copy and paste to your own blog and enjoy!"...Well, Drazil said it, so I'll do it.

Question 1: If you were asked to symbolize yourself as an animal – which animal would you be?


Um...a monkey? But not one of those monkeys that throws their poo at you. A nice monkey. I say that because I like to have fun and generally feel lighthearted and carefree. Also, if you're my friend on FB, you've seen video proof that I can do an excellent monkey impersonation. Just ask my 6 month old.

Question 2: Did you ever play an organized sport – with coaches, rules and scoring? Tell us about it.


I played one year of softball when I was in middle school, but not for a school team. I was the catcher, so yeah, pretty much the least active member of the team. For two years in high school, I was a member of our show choir, which was a pretty intensive, year-long physical activity, and it was a TON of fun. I miss those days.

Question 3: When did you start shaving your legs?

Oh, geez. Sixth, seventh grade, maybe? I begged my mom to let me and finally just took it upon myself. I'll never forget my older sister laughing hysterically at me one day because I had a smidge of shaving cream on my face from shaving my armpits in the shower. Still to this day, I don't know whether other women use shaving cream on their armpits, or if I'm some sort of shaving cream freak.

Question 4: When you’re in a crabby – pissy – want to stab everyone you see kind of mood – what do you do to get out of it or do you revel in it?

Misery loves company, and as much as I wish I didn't let my bad moods affect other people, I can't say that's true. Usually a foul mood consists of lots of pouting. My poor husband. LOL

Question 5: Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

In blogland, I discovered some lovely new blogs (Evolution of a Black Butterfly, My 30th Summer, My Trek Downward, and Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier), and blogged alot myself. I also hit fiddy followers! In real life, I'm super busy at work, developing the online learning management system for my company, and also researching intranet options. I'm leaving on a jet plane Sunday afternoon to head to Ft. Lauderdale for a few days so that I can get some LMS/intranet ideas from a company that shares it's best practices with us.

Personally, my husband has finally decided to quit his horrible job, which makes me happy and scared. I miss my son, who has been at my MIL's house since Wednesday morning, and The BFF and I got to go see The Lion King musical for free because my company is a sponsor. All in all, it hasn't been a bad week.

Peace out, homeslices! Enjoy your weekend!

It's gonna take time..

A whole lotta precious time,
It's gonna take patience and time, oh,
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it,
To do it right.

(Got My Mind Set On You - George Harrison)

Question. (I've been on a "The Office" kick lately, and have channeled my inner Dwight Schrute. On second thought...ew).

Anyway, I've got a question. How do you find the time?

I have a six month old baby, a 'full time +' job, a commute, an apartment the size of a postage stamp quite literally filled to the brim with life's junk (which means if you use one thing, the whole place is a disaster), a husband, three full sets of family, friends, and chores all competing for my time. Oh yeah, and sleep too. I have to sleep in there somewhere.

I know I'm not the only one.

I haven't figured out how to fit all of those things - that whole "living" part of life into the 24 hours a day I get.

My day:

• Wake up between 6:45-7:00. My MIL usually shows up around 7:05 to watch Bubbers for the day. The Hubs works third shift, so he's not home. If Logan wakes up during the night (like last night when I had to feed him at 3am) I get to handle it.
• Leave for work by 7:20. Drive 40-ish minutes (on a good day)
• Work 8-5, drive 40-ish minutes (on a good day) home.
• Spend 20 minutes staring at cabinets and refrigerator, willing something to pop out and make itself for dinner, when that doesn't happen, resign myself to a quick frozen pizza or pre-packaged meal. On fancy, well prepared nights, we'll have Hamburger Helper or Tacos, or something that actually requires more steps than "open package, microwave".
• 6:30-7:00ish: Scarf down food during the rare quiet moments when Logan is watching Word World or Dinosaur Train. I'm eternally indebted to Netfix since I don't have cable.
• 7:00ish - 9:00ish: Feed/change/play with/entertain kiddo, while possibly fitting in some time on crack FaceBook.
• 9:00ish: Give kiddo a bath (most nights) which is good for about 30 minutes of "Happy Kid" time.
• 9:30ish: Give kiddo last bottle and hopefully put him down for the night
• 9:45ish: Clean up around the house, catch up on emails/Facebook/blogs while watching something trashy on Netflix.
• Go to bed.

It is worth mentioning that my husband gets home from work anywhere from 9-11am, pays bills and does other house-typey stuff for a bit, then goes to bed. He usually gets about 4 hours of sleep - 6 is a treat for him - before he has to get back up so that {1} my MIL can trek it 45 minutes back to her house in rush hour traffic, or {2} he can be on call for work.

His job requires him to be on call every other week, from Friday at 5pm until Friday at 5pm, which means that while he is physically home, mentally he's working. Scheduling, managing, researching, stressing about whatever stupid Tech he has in Bangladesh or India or China who's not doing his job correctly.

He's exhausted. And if he's in between phone calls or emails or speaking veeeeery slooooowly to Chinese guys, he is as present as he can be. He helps me entertain Logan, or changes his diapers, or feeds him if he can. But it's hit or miss, and because of his stupid job, I can't rely on him to be available to help.

And whether he's on call or not, he has to be out of the house by 10:15 pm to physically go to work. So, not only am I having trouble finding time for life, I'm having trouble finding quality time with my husband.

Not to mention that damn treadmill that keeps nagging at me.

I know that the time after Bubs goes to bed is the "free" time that I have to play around with, but there's not much of it - especially if I want to get to bed at a decent hour. And frankly, when I do have a minute to myself, when nobody else is demanding my attention, I would rather veg than work out.

How do you do it? How do you fit it all in? How do you manage to find time to do the things that you WANT to do around all of the things you HAVE to do?

Help me, blogland!

"Everybody's working for the weekend..."

(Working for the Weekend - Loverboy)


The past six months have brought about a lot of changes. I have a new baby, which y'all know about. But I also have a new job, too.

My return from maternity leave was definitely unpleasant. For one, I was leaving a gorgeous seven-week-old baby, and for two, I was leaving a gorgeous seven-week-old baby to return to a job that I was really unhappy with.

I stayed there because it was good money and easy work. I liked the company, I liked (most of) the people. I really, really disliked my day-to-day tasks, my overall contribution to the company (or lack thereof), and the lack of direction I was receiving. When I came back from maternity leave, I was basically told that I was lucky I had a job to return to, and that I wouldn't be receiving any sort of raise or bonus.

That's not exactly an incentive to stay somewhere you're unhappy with in the first place.

So, in typical Mrs. B's OCD fashion, I obsessed over job searches. Any free time I had was spent on Career Builder, Indeed, Glassdoor.com, and any other job related website I could think of.

My MIL sent me job listings when ever she saw something that might be pertinent, and early on into my search she sent me a link to a training job. I brushed it off because it was located at a business that was farther away (and in the opposite direction) from where I was hoping to work. I searched and searched, and sent in resume after resume. It was definitely slim pickings, so I eventually decided to go ahead and send in my resume for the position my MIL found.

I ended up getting call backs for two places. Two. Out of dozens of applications and resumes.

The first was a training position at a downtown bank. Yay, downtown! Where I used to work, and where The BFF and several friends work, and close to my hometown roots. Boo, downtown traffic, gas costs, and exclusively training the collections department. Ultimately, I interviewed twice for this job, but was not selected. No big loss.

The second was for the job my MIL found. While I was in the process of interviewing for the bank position, I was also going through the process of interviewing for this job. It's a local retail company with 10 brick and mortar stores. They were looking for a corporate trainer with knowledge of Learning Management Systems.

I went through an initial phone screening, an in-person interview with the Director of HR and the COO, a second in-person interview with the Director of HR and the Director of Stores, and a third in-person interview including a powerpoint presentation with all three of those guys. After that, I had two phone interviews with members of the board. And finally, finally,  I was offered the position. When I came in to sign my offer letter, I also had an impromptu meeting with the owner of the company.

After all that, I'm adding "professional hoop jumper" to my resume.

I've been with the company since April. Currently, I'm developing their Learning Management System from scratch, and they recently decided that they wanted to add an intranet, too. It's two, two, two jobs in one! (Shoot me now!)

I love it there, though. They give me the freedom to make decisions, and they have absolutely gone out of their way to make sure I feel comfortable, at home, and have all my questions answered. They are sending me to Florida, Las Vegas, and Dallas this year for some discovery/training opportunities. 

My only regret is that I'm a horrible, no good negotiator. It's my own damn fault that they've gotten me for a steal. But you know what? There's something to say for not getting physically sick to the stomach at the thought of having to go into work the next day. That's for sure.

I'm still 'working for the weekend', but at least I don't mind the weekdays as much.