Post Holiday Jumble (and a "Wednesday" Weigh In)

Today's weigh in is a day late because I was nowhere near a scale yesterday. Which is probably a good thing.

Last Week: 255.0
This Week: 254.2
Loss: 0.8 lb

I am actually AMAZED at the loss. I can (and have) eaten pretty much anything I want, so I am totally going to take that 0.8 lbs and run with it. That's 9.6 pounds in 9 weeks, which doesn't sound like a lot, but averages out to a little more than a pound per week. And, hell, it's a loss! Anything is better than what I have been doing up until this point, which is gaining weight every single year. Even if it's slow, and even if it jumps around and I (temporarily) gain some back, it averages out to a loss. In the end that's all that matters to me.

And dear Jeebus, I need a fill. I had one scheduled for 12/22, but we couldn't part with the money so close to Christmas. It's rescheduled for 01/05, so only a week and a half away.

Other things: Christmas was good. We've technically had 5 Christmases so far, with one more to come on Saturday. Plus, Logan is getting birthday gifts mixed in with the Christmas ones, so the kid is making out like a bandit. He's having a ton of fun this year being Santa's helper and handing out gifts to each person, then once he delivers the gift, he starts opening it for them. Handler's fee, I suppose.

This is my Bonus Mom's Christmas tree. It is gorgeous every single year, and it takes her an entire weekend to do. Every single ornament is perfectly placed, and she even "hides" ornaments inside the tree toward the center to add dimension and a little surprise while you're looking. There are so many ornaments - every year I see new ones I didn't know she had.

Oh, and see that highly fragile, ceramic nativity on the floor? Thanks to my two year old, one of the shepherds is now decapitated (the piece second from the left, behind the laying ox). Logan accidentally knocked the shepherd over and he hit the ox right between the horns, and seriously, it was like a slow motion nativity guillotine...the shepherd's head just made a clean break and rolled across the floor. There was a gasp through the room and then a huge roar of laughter, and poor Bubbers had no idea what had happened! Julie (my bonus mom) says the break was clean and that she can glue it back on, and that the 25 year old nativity has had many repairs throughout the years, so I guess it's no harm no foul, unless you're an unlucky shepherd whose ox turns on you.

The Hubs' big Christmas gift this year was tickets to see Jeff Dunham. I bought the tickets back in October and have been itching to tell him since. It was priceless to see him take them out of the bottom of his stocking on Christmas morning and realize that we were going to see him the next day! It worked out really well that Jeff was doing a show close to us, and so close to Christmas, so I didn't have to give him a Christmas present he couldn't use until June or something.

Of course, we got a "blizzard" yesterday, too. So there was a whole anxiety thing about whether or not they were going to cancel the show, and if they didn't, whether the roads would be good enough for us to get there. In the end, we decided that we didn't want to waste our 7th row tickets and would brave the roads. We left 3 hours early for a trip that would normally take 40 minutes. The roads were fine, and we ended up where we needed to be early enough to enjoy a yummy steak dinner at Longhorn.

7th row, baby!

Breakin' the law and sneaking a pic.

The show was great. The Hubs told me later that he hasn't laughed that hard in a long time and that it was totally worth the expense. One thousand Awesome Wife Points for me! Huzzah!

We had such a good time and laughed so hard, and then when we were walking back to our car last night, I saw that I had two missed calls from The Hubs' mom. The mood instantly changed and we both knew it wasn't good that his mom had called twice after 10 pm. Jack's Great Grandma (Bubbers' Great, Great Grandma) had recently been sent home from the hospital after doctors told her there wasn't anything else they could do to treat her Stage 4 cancer. We knew she didn't have long, and on Christmas Eve, the doctors said she had about 48 hours to live. I guess they knew what they were talking about, because she passed sometime in the evening yesterday.

We're all very sad since we had just seen her this summer at her 90th birthday party looking sharp as ever. She was doing well at that point and responding to therapy. And we were able to get one more Five Generations picture with her then:

Five Generations: Logan, The Hubs, Grandma, Great Grandpa, and Great Great Grandma

Rest in peace, Grandma Mays. We love you.

Wednesday Weigh-In

Last Week: 256.6 lb
This Week: 255.0 lb
Total Loss: 1.6 lb

Now that's more like it!

You should have seen the comedy in my bathroom this morning as I was weighing, though. Normally, I'm a "one and done" weigher. Whatever I see on the scale the first time is what I take. But this morning, when I stepped up, the first reading was 253.8. Now, while that's a totally awesome number and I would TOTALLY take it, I just had a feeling that it wasn't right, so I hopped back on. This is how that process went:

Step on. 255.0. Hmmm, I think I preferred the first one. Step off. Step on. 255.0, Okay, at least we got a double confirmation, guess we'll go with that. Let's brush our teeth and get on with the day. Step off. Teeth and hair brushed, and the scale is RIGHT THERE. Let's just check one more time. Step on. 253.0. WHAT THE CRAP?! Step off. Ok, last time, and then we're hopping off this crazy roller coaster, dude. Step on. 253.0. *facepalm*

Since I know that I didn't do two pounds worth of teeth and hair brushing exercise, I decided just to go with the 255. And this morning when I got to work, I hopped on the doctor scale in our fitness center and weighed 256 with light clothes on, so I'm thinking the 255 was the closest. Whatevs, a loss is a loss is a loss, and I'll so take it. I am accutely aware of my desperate need for a fill, and that is scheduled for bright and early Saturday morning. Hopefully we'll really start seeing those numbers move after that.

In other news:

We finally received our Thomas Kinkade last night. To refresh your memory, we bought it along with another painting back during our anniversary trip to Gatlinburg in October, but it stayed in Tennessee so that we could have it professionally highlighted at the gallery. Our gallery rep sent us pictures of our painting getting highlighted at the event, which I think is really kind of cool to have photo proof and to see it happening.

She did a great job with the highlighting, and it was fun for The Hubs and I to look over the painting last night and try to spot all the areas she did. It really adds some dimension to the canvas, not to mention value, too.

The only bummer is that our frame has 3 pretty noticeable dings on the left side. I have to email our rep the pictures today and see what she says. It's a bummer to have your pretty (and expensive) painting finally home, but not be able to hang it and enjoy! Blargh.

Also in other news: I hate dish cloths with a passion. I have seven more to make, and no time to make them. I have resorted to eating lunch at my desk and then using my full lunch hour to crochet like a madwoman in the break area. Which happens to be directly across from the glass doors to our fitness center, so I'm pretty sure people think I'm some crazy crocheting stalker lady with a fitness fetish. Fun times.

In true Grinchy spirit, I abandoned ship on Christmas cards this year, too. I just had to give SOMETHING up, and cards got the ax. I haven't wrapped a single thing. The Hubs hasn't shopped for me, and can't until we get paid on Friday. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. I have to make birthday cupcakes for Sunday (Logan turns the big TWO!), and a pumpkin pie with whipped cream for Tuesday. I have to pack and ship Grandparents gifts, like, yesterday. And we haven't even started the thirty-something ornaments that we're making as part of our gifts this year. Oh, and did I mention that Bubbers got the flu last week and has been miserably and pitifully sick since Thursday? And my MIL, who is our daycare provider, got the flu too, and has not been able to watch the kiddo, so The Hubs has had to take two days off work without pay this week?

I don't know why people keep complaining that the holidays are so stressful.  Pffft.

But we will survive. We will put on happy faces. We will be those parents who are up until 4 am on Christmas Eve putting together the comically large train table for the kiddo. And we will enjoy every. single. minute. of it. Because I have the luxury and gift of being able to watch my child wake up on Christmas morning. And that is a gift that I am so much more aware of and thankful for this year.

There are no words.

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Daniel Barden, 7

Rachel Davino, 29

Olivia Engel, 6

Josephine Gay, 7

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Dawn Hochsprung, 47

Madeline Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6

Chase Kowalski, 7

Jesse Lewis, 6

James Mattioli, 6

Grace McDonnell, 7

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Emilie Parker, 6

Jack Pinto, 6

Noah Pozner, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Mary Sherlach, 56

Victoria Soto, 27

Benjamin Wheeler, 6

Allison Wyatt, 6

Roller Coaster

Last week: 256.4
This week: 256.6
Gain: 0.2


Blah. I know it's only a small gain, but it's totally disheartening after getting a fill. For the first couple days, I could feel some restriction. I guess it's restriction, anyway - I started feeling that pressure in my chest after eating a bit. But now, it's completely gone. Blah. Blah, blah, blah.

The Hubs and I agreed that since I have to pay for my fills, I can't go back for another one until I get paid again (which is every two weeks), so I'm going to call and try to get a fill appointment for next Saturday. Let's get this baby jacked up!

On another note, and an NSV at that, I've had two people notice and comment on my weight loss this past week. Both were co-workers who don't see me that often, so I guess my almost 30 pounds lost is more noticeable to them. I was super happy to FINALLY have someone notice something.

I've been concerned about going to all the family Christmases in the next couple of weeks. They all know that I've had the band and I'm worried that they're all expecting me to show up looking like a supermodel or something. The one side of the family hasn't seen me in several months, so maybe they will notice something, but the other side sees me pretty frequently and the loss has been so slow...

Oh well. It's my journey and I'm holding steady in the hope that in a couple more months (and with the right fills) they won't have any choice but to notice! Right? Right.

Goal Oriented and other things.

Hello all!

This past weekend was fun - we had our first Christmas party of the season on Saturday. Fun (and dish cloths) was/were had by all. Sunday was our second Christmas party, wherein Logan met Santa for the first time since he could actually acknowledge who he is. He was enthralled by the man in the big red suit! Lots of fun.

I can definitely tell a difference since having my fill on Friday. I don't think that I'm where I need to be, but things are moving in the right direction. I am learning first-hand about how fickle Tim Gunn is, though. At times, I feel full on practically nothing, and at other times, I could (theoretically, of course, because there's no way that this actually happened, *ahem*) eat two whole hot dogs with buns and a couple cookies, and still feel like going back for more. It's a balancing act, and it will take a while to get everything there, I know.

I was thinking earlier today about my goals with this whole weight loss thingy. I really didn't have a set weight goal in mind when I started out. That's mostly because I have steadily gained weight every year of my existence, and it feels impossible for me to say, "Oh, yeah, I'll look and feel great at XXX number." How the heck do I know? I've never been one of those people who dieted and lost a huge amount and was really happy there, but then gained it all back. My yo-yo doesn't yo, yo. So it was really difficult for me to just pick a number out of thin air as a real goal. I mean, I have all these little obvious goals in my head, like, to get to Onederland, and such, but a something-to-strive-to number was rough.

I have since ended up sitting on 175 as a strive-to goal. It's a nice, pretty number, and it's well under 200. We'll see how it feels when we get there, I guess.

I also have a bunch of teeny tiny little mini goals coming up soon (hopefully). The first one I'll hit is at 253.8, which will be 10 pounds down from the start of my pre-op diet. Then 251.0 will be 30 pounds down for the year. Then 249 will be a victory that I can't wait to write a post about, but am keeping it a secret for now. And finally, 246.3 will be the start of all brand new territory for me, as earlier in my weight loss blogging journey, I hit 246.4, and that's as low as she goes went.

I think focusing on these little mini goals that are soclose will hopefully help me stay motivated and feel less bogged down by the impossible-ness that 81.4 pounds to "goal" sounds like. Bit by bit, we'll get there.

What about you? Any mini goals coming up? Or do you stay laser focused on the "big one"?

First Fill - Full of Surprises

Today was the day! I finally got me some fill. (Thank you Jeebus).

The whole experience was full of lots of (mostly pleasant) little surprises...

{1} My nurse read through my surgery report and found where it said my hiatal hernia was larger than 4 centimeters in diameter. Apparently in hiatal hernia world, that's "a biggie", as my nurse put it. I am so glad it's gone! I haven't had one acid reflux-y episode or taken a single Tums since surgery day, and that's totally saying something for the girl who would go through the big container of Tums in 2 weeks.

{2} I don't have to pay for un-fills within a week. This is so awesome, since I'm self pay. Each adjustment is $75 out-of-pocket for me, so the thought of spending the money for a fill and coming back the next day for an unfill and having to shell out ANOTHER 75 big ones? That sucks big ol' sweaty donkey balls. (Pardon the mental image.) So I asked her (Kim is her name, and she's full of awesomesauce) and she said that there's a seven day grace period on fills. If I feel too tight after an adjustment and need to come back to get some taken out, as long as I do it within seven days, it's free! Woot!

{3} I don't have to do full liquids after fills! Kim told me to do soft and mushies today and to be careful tomorrow, but that's it! I stuck to a protein shake on my way into work, just to be sure, but it's awesome to know that I can chew foods today. LOL

{4} Kim let me pick the amount of fill I wanted. She told me that for my first fill in a 14 cc band, she would give me up to 5 cc's. We talked over the pros and cons of going "all out", and I ended up deciding on 4.5 cc's for this one.

{5} 4.5 cc's looks like A LOT of fluid! I saw it in the syringe after she loaded it up and I was totally surprised at how much fluid that is! It seems impossible that there would even be room for 14 cc's around the stomach. But Kim had 12 cc's in her 14 cc band at one time, so I guess people really do get that high.

{6} The needle stick was nothing. Like, the least painful needle-to-the-stomach I've ever had, and I've had a lot of needles to the stomach. Even when I could feel her moving the needle around, it didn't hurt at all. SCORE!

{7} It is much harder than I thought it would be to lift and hold both legs a couple inches in the air. (Outta shape, much?!) I'm not sure if that's what other offices have you do to find the port, but that's what Kim does. I laid down on the table thingy and she asked me to lift and hold both feet up a couple inches. Then she found the port and did the fill, all while my legs were lifted. Man, that was the hardest part of the whole ordeal!

{8} The surgeon DID put some fill in during surgery. I was told that he hadn't, and that I had nothing in there. But when Kim checked, there was 0.9 cc's chilling out in my band. So my 4.5 cc's takes me up to 5.4 cc's total.

{9} The biggest surprise of all - feeling the saline go into the band. I don't know why this was just such a shock to me. Maybe because I've been feeling for a month like I paid $10,000 for nothing but a bunch of scars and a sore port site? As soon as she pushed the saline in, I could feel it restricting in my chest. It was like the first affirmation that, yes, there really IS something in there, and it really DOES something. Kim kept telling me beforehand that you can't really explain it, but it's just a "weird" feeling, and she was so right.

I think that was the most psychologically helpful part of the whole thing - proving to myself that there IS something in there and that it WILL do something. I am so excited about that.

Kim also said that my incisions look great and that my port felt perfect - no twisting or anything.

Super excited to be on the road to the green zone! Of course, I got to work today and my boss a Cookie Elf dropped off a little surprise...a box of Cheryl's cookies and chocolate covered pretzel clusters. I think I'm just going to take these to our first Christmas party tomorrow and pretend like they don't exist. Meh.

DEVIL.

Oh, and I can't leave you today without showing you this ridiculously cute picture from our photo shoot this weekend. If you're in the Cincinnati area - go see Tricia McClure and get your own amazing pictures!

Lady Killer, party of one. 

Have a great weekend, all!

Wednesday Weigh-In

Last week: 257.2
This week: 256.4
Loss: 0.8 lb

Huzzah! Good riddance, 257.2. I hope to never see your stinkin' face numbers again!

It's not a big loss, but for Bandster Hell, I'll totally take it. And (say it with me now...) my first fill is Friday!

I'm super curious about how much they'll give me for a first fill. I have the 14cc APL Lap-Band with nothing in it right now. I'm guessing around 4 cc's would be the jumping off point, but we'll just have to wait and see. I really want to make the most out of my fill visits because I'm paying $75 for each one, but at the same time, I don't want to rush anything either. Meh.

In other news, today's a big-ish day for me at work. I've been co-facilitating a Leadership Series for the past six months, which has really meant me just kind of sitting back and chiming in every once in a while while the other two facilitators do the work. Well, today I'm taking the reins and facilitating the class by myself. Eek and ugh. I just want it to be over with.

Hugs all!

Busy Weekend

December is always a nutso month for us, and lo and behold, it has started.

Just after Logan was born, a friend of mine recommended to us a photographer that she knew. After our first visit for Logan's 3 month pictures, we ended up going back to her for 6, 9, 12/Christmas, 16, and 20-month pictures as well. So Saturday, it was time for 24-month/Christmas/Family Portraits. I'll share when I get them back (copyright is included in the fee we pay), but WOW, was it like herding cats. This was really the first time that Bubs has just really been all over the place and not wanted to sit for ANY pictures. He would sit for one, proclaim that he was "all done!", and run away. I ended up bribing him with blocks for most of the pictures...we'll see how they turn out.

Saturday evening, I attended the Dayton Gay Men's Chorus' Christmas concert at a beautiful church in Downtown Dayton. I won a pair of tickets through a contest, and am so glad I did!

DGMC at Westminster Presbyterian. Check out those organ pipes!

Fuzzy (and covert!) picture of the Men of DGMC.

I took my work colleague (the one who contracts for our company and knows about my band) as my date, and we had a wonderful time. I brought her Christmas gifts (which I don't have pictures of right now, but will post some soon), so she was the first lucky recipient of my crocheted dish cloths. I think they were a hit!

Sunday, Bubs mercifully slept in, so I made us a super yummy scramble for breakfast. It's just simply cooking up a pound of sausage, crumbled, and scrambling it into eggs (I used 7 extra large eggs and it's enough to feed an army), and melting in some shredded cheddar cheese. So good!

Once we had breakfast, we were off to the National Air Force Museum because the Budweiser Clydesdales were visiting. We waited in line for a very long time for the chance to pet one of the beautiful monsters and have our picture taken. Have you ever been near a Clydesdale? They are like the Great Dane's of the horse world. H-U-G-E. And breathtaking. And graceful.

Clydesdales and a Dalmatian. Does it get more Budweiser than that?!

And yes, in that photo, there is one man running THREE horses. 3600 pounds of horse. Amazing. Later, we walked the pens where all the other horses were chilling out, and the saddle section of EVERY horse was taller than my husband!

After we played with the horsies (which Logan loved, by the way), we toured the Air Force museum. I had never been, so that was an interesting (and LONG) trip. In the end, we only made it through two of the three HUGE hangars before my feet and knees were screaming. Luckily, the museum is free, so we can go back some other time to see the third hangar and the fourth one that they will soon be building. All in all, it was a pretty fun trip, even if the weather was dreary.

:  :  :

In other news, my eating has been ok for the past few days. I'm still firmly in Bandster Hell, but my first fill is Friday, so I'm hoping for a little relief then. Also, I'm on my third week back on my Bydureon injection, and I remember from last time that three weeks is about when I started feeling the non-hunger from it. So hopefully that will start kicking in soon, too. 

I had my regular every-three-months appointment with my family doctor on Friday. Her scale was evil and showed 8 pounds up from my scale at home, which is just ridiculous. But, she had the results of my A1c bloodwork (which, if you don't know, an A1c is a measurement for Diabetics. It measures the average sugar level in your blood over the past three months. A non-diabetic "normal" A1c is between 4.5-6.0, and they can go as high as 14, which basically means you're in a coma). My A1c back in March was 8.3, the highest it has ever been. Also, not-so-coincidentally, that was when we recorded my highest weight ever, too. My A1c on Friday was 6.9!!! I was so excited, I made my doctor give me a high five, and she's not a high-fiving kind of person. LOL. I can't wait to get some more of this weight off and see that A1c drop into the normal range. I so want to be off all these meds! 

Have a great week, my lovelies!