Well, here it is. Consult Day.
I am scared as hell.
I really don't know why I'm so nervous. I don't think there's really anything rational to be afraid of today, but for some reason, I'm shaking in my boots. (Well, not really, I can't fit boots over my fat calves. But I'm shaking in my Fashion Bug flats, fo sho.)
I also found out on Monday when they called to confirm that the Program Fee is $350 instead of $300. I was convinced they had told me $300, but The Hubs seems to think I told him $350 at some point, so whatever. $50 is not a deal breaker here, and anything I pay now comes off the surgery cost, so that's $50 I don't have to pay later. Oh well.
I think it's just the reality of everything that is hitting me right now. This is the farthest down this path I have ever traveled. After today, I am monetarily invested in actually going through with this. If I don't have the surgery, we're out $350 now, which is A LOT of money to us. I feel like I'm hitting the point of no return, and even though I know that I want to do this, and I've wanted to do this for YEARS, now it's real. Now it's scary.
What if I go though all this, spend all this money, have SURGERY, and still fail?
Not dead yet.
3 hours ago