Last Week: 239.6 lb
This Week: 244.6 lb
Gain: 5.0 lb
And I'm over it.
Especially over it when I gained back five freaking pounds and yet, I'm still PBing at almost every fucking meal.
I can't eat "normal" foods. I can't live on protein shakes.
I'm calling for a serious unfill today. I want it out. Everything I just got and more. 2cc, 3cc, I don't care at this point. I just want to get to a point where I know for sure that I'm not going to be PBing on anything.
And I am going to stay that way for a month. And during that month, I'm not going to weigh in. The weigh ins have just become something I dread, and something that makes me feel like crap. So I'm not going to do them for a while.
This sucks.
Oh Anna I'm so sorry you are going through this.
ReplyDeleteI'm angry with you.
I just was looking at the picture of you on your blog from the race and you look so happy and healthy and radiant. I want you feeling like that - confident, healthy, in control, great about what your body can do. I think you are beautiful, inside and out.
Screw the band right now. The tool isn't working right now for whatever reason. I am glad you are going to get the unfill, maybe not with Pokey Lady?? :0(
I wish you fast relief, and healing, and some peace on all levels. I can only imagine how hard it is to function day to day with all that going on.
I hope the unfill gets you where you need to be Anna. Step back and take a breath. Have you month to recoup and then begin again! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for you. Who wouldn't be frustrated?? Hope you get an unfill soon!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely get the unfill. Then give yourself some breathing room for a nice, slow new start! Not being so stressed will give you a chance to focus on the healthy changes you want to make.
ReplyDeleteStaying away from the scale sounds like a good idea--but you can't really have gained 5 pounds of actual weight. There has to be some swelling/water retention going on, especially with all the trouble you've been having eating.